The summer before my freshman year I promised myself that I would be more honest with myself and others. I didn’t make this promise because I have a history of being a pathological liar, or because I avoided the truth at all costs. I made it because it’s important to understand the reasons behind our actions.
I haven’t always made good on that wager. Sometimes, I have run in the opposite direction with as much anger and spite as I could muster. I would give into a thirst for solitude, this need to be alone to think, alone with God and no one else. There have been times when I didn’t want to listen to someone who was hurting or even love them enough to just be present with them. These times were extremely uncomfortable. They weren’t picturesque moments of re-commitment that led to an immediate shift in behavior or the overall quality of my life. These moments were raw, sloppy, covered in tears, bookended with grace, and maybe even a twinge more of peace or happiness.
I’m writing this because Houghton isn’t perfect, neither am I, and neither are you. We all fail at cultivating an authentic sense of honesty with one another and with God at some point or another. If I have learned one lesson my entire Houghton career, it would be that you grow when you are faced with the uncomfortable. Not the discomfort you feel after eating Sodexo, or the disappointment you feel when your Big Al’s bucks run out. This isn’t small discomfort, but rather the uncomfortableness of hearing something you don’t agree with in chapel, reaching out to that friend who hasn’t been there for you or vice versa, maybe the uncomfortableness of being alone. Whatever it is, being uncomfortable can be a good thing if you are willing to dig deeper to the root of your discomfort.
We make the mistake of believing that God is calling us to some life-changing, sin eradicating moment that will somehow define our identity. We want change to be immediate. I’m not saying this is beyond God’s power, it’s not. But many of us fail to see that God has called us to do small things here and now because we have become too distracted by the possibilities of doing something great in the future. We are called to higher standard than straining toward what may happen or being stuck on what has happened, we are called to love and listen to those who are hurting. This doesn’t mean you must agree, it doesn’t mean it will be easy, and it certainly doesn’t mean you’ll be comfortable. To be willing to sit through a chapel that makes you squirm and deeply challenges you, or to go and have that conversation you’ve been putting off will be filled with uncomfortableness, but it will make you grow.
Go, sit through a challenging chapel, even if you’ve already received all 28 chapel credits. Go to an SGA coffeehouse on a talk you don’t understand. Have a conversation with someone you’ve been avoiding. Listen to people who are hurting and how you can help them, listen to how you can learn to love better, even if you don’t agree. Philippians 4:4-7 “Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Be uncomfortable.
Kirsten is a junior majoring in communication with a concentration in media arts and visual communication.