Critiquing Self-Love

In a society full of pressures and stress, many people struggle with unhappiness and negative feelings about themselves. The self-love movement has swept across our culture in an effort to counteract the internal hardships so many people face. An article written for Psychology Today defines self-love as “a state of appreciation for oneself that grows from actions that support our physical, psychological and spiritual growth.” Countless articles and books offer advice on how to live your best life by loving yourself. The self-love movement has not been restricted to the secular world—many Christians have embraced it as well. But how should we respond to these ideas as people of faith? I believe that rather than embracing self-love, we should be wary of its potential dangers and never consider it separately from the Gospel.

On the surface, it is difficult to find fault with the self-love movement. What could be wrong about feeling good in your own skin, thinking encouraging thoughts, or setting aside time to focus on your health? There is nothing inherently wrong with these things, but they become dangerous when we consider them separately from the truths of the Gospel. All too often Christians have embraced the concepts of self-love without filtering them through Scripture. If we examine the tenets of self-love, it becomes clear that this movement undermines the Gospel.

One of the underlying tenets of self-love is that every person is worthy of love. No one has to earn love—we all merit it simply because we are people. According to Scripture, however, we are not worthy of love. Romans 3:23 says, “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God…” One of the beauties of the Gospel is that God loved us when we were lost in sin and provided a way of salvation even though we had done nothing to merit it. Self-love encourages us to always think positively of yourself and repeat mantras like “I am enough.” But the Gospel tells us that we are decidedly not enough. We are entirely undeserving of God’s grace and can do nothing to save ourselves. Ephesians 2:8-9 says, “For it is by grace you have been saved through faith and this not of yourselves, it is the gift of God, not of works, that any man should boast.” If we believe that we merit God’s favor and are enough on our own, we lose our reliance on God’s grace for our salvation.

Another major tenant of self-love is accepting who you are, being happy in your own skin. As Christians, however, we are not called to contentment with our present selves. Instead, we are called to sanctification. We are not called to simply love ourselves and to accept our weaknesses and struggles. No, we are called to be always striving towards holiness. 2 Peter 1:3-4 says: “His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness.” God demands our best and calls us to put to death the things that inhibit us from living Godly lives.

In all of this, however, I am not saying that we should hate ourselves. As human beings, each of us has been created in the image of God. It is important to recognize the value and beauty of human life. I also recognize the complexities of our feelings about ourselves, and how negative ones can fuel mental illness. But I believe that self-love is only a bandage. It is misleading to attempt to heal depression, low self-esteem, or anxiety by simply accepting ourselves. Eventually, we will always come to the end of ourselves, and if we are relying on self-love alone we will be left in despair. We cannot stop at ourselves. Instead we must find our worth in Christ. When self-deprecating thoughts creep into our lives, let us not look at our own accomplishments or repeat encouraging phrases for comfort. Instead, let us remember the work of God in our life. Alone we are broken and flawed, but in Christ we are spotless and redeemed.

Emma is a junior majoring in music education.