It’s a brand new decade! Hopefully the years 2020-2030 will bring all of us great joy, fantastic memories, and a deeper relationship with Christ. The past ten years haven’t all been horrible; there were some interesting years, some sad years—but there were happy years too. For myself, 2010 seems like forever ago—I was ten years old! I had no idea what I was doing with my life, and I certainly didn’t know I was going to be attending Houghton within the same decade that I survived middle school (oh boy… I do not miss those days of colorful shorts and little black mustache designs everywhere).
Ten years is a long time. A lot of changes can happen, in fact a lot has changed. My suggestion? Let’s figure out what things we’d like to leave in the last decade and what things we’d like to start doing for the next ten years.
I’d like to start by addressing a phrase that I personally struggle with. Have you ever been discussing a serious matter with another Christian and it leads them to say this phrase: “Oh, that’s awful. I’ll pray for you.” This is right up there on my list of top pet peeves (right under when tall people get in front of me and then proceed to walk slower than a snail). To the recipient of that flippant phrase, it sounds like the listener either doesn’t care, or doesn’t want to take immediate action to help. While nothing is inherently wrong with this phrase, perhaps in this new decade instead of saying we will pray for someone, let’s take a minute and pray right then and there! Either with the person or by yourself for them if they are uncomfortable with doing so. It can be quite intimidating, but I think it’s worth trying.
Another thing we can leave behind is the need to say something is okay when it really isn’t. Allow me to explain: too often, I have found myself hearing news that I didn’t want to hear. My response to these types of situations is typically saying “oh it’s okay,” to avoid making the other person feel bad. While the gesture is sweet, it can become very taxing on yourself. For example, let’s say it’s as simple as someone canceling plans at the last minute that you had planned months prior. A typical assumption would be to reply with this phrase, rather than saying what we really feel. For myself, I’m working on the ability to be more honest. It’s not rude to explain why and how something negatively affects you; of course, you don’t need to “cancel” the person, but if you tell them how you truly feel, they will know how to handle the situation better in the future.
That brings me to my last suggested item to leave in the previous decade—canceling someone. Last semester, I was meeting with a professor in Java and the topic of “canceling someone” came up. Together we agreed that it is a harsh thing to do, especially from a Christian perspective. But even for those who don’t consider themselves religious, it can be a horrible habit to get into. What exactly does a person have to do to become canceled? Where does forgiveness fall, where is the line between something simply being offensive and something warranting being canceled? Many more questions come to mind with this recent ideal; I implore you to think it over. Have you canceled someone or a group of people before? Was it worth it? If you haven’t, do you think there would be a situation that justifies canceling someone? These are good questions to think about as you begin your journey into this new decade, and perhaps the new you.
Alright, time to turn our minds to the future—to 2020 and beyond! What might we continue to do, or maybe start doing for the first time, in this new decade? Well, this list can be quite extensive, so I have simply name a couple of my personal suggestions. The first: learn when to say yes and when to say no.
Differentiating between the two can sometimes be a challenge; we don’t want to disappoint anyone, so we agree to do things we secretly would like to turn down. On the flip side, we say no to things that we want to do for the sake of others and their personal desires (or we spent so much time doing the things we said yes to that now we are too exhausted to participate in something we actually want to do). So how do we know when to say what?
Personally, I believe the choice comes down to how I truly feel. While it can be kind to think of others, it’s important to also think of yourself. Constantly thinking of others can lead to a person becoming drained—learning your own personal limit can be a 2020 goal! In fact, a friend of mine was discussing this very problem at lunch. As I was listening to her, I realized both how important it was for her to grow in the ability to differentiate between saying yes and no, and the importance of myself being aware of the temptations and struggles of others around me.
You may be thinking “Jacie, you’re contradicting yourself! How am I supposed to think more about my own needs and become more conscious of others’ needs too?” I’ll admit, the two ideas do seem to oppose each other, but the key is balance. Yes, it is wise to be able to look after yourself, and pay attention to your physical, mental, social, and spiritual needs, but don’t forsake paying attention to others. This is not to say that you are responsible for others, but it is suggesting that it doesn’t take much to carefully analyze how your personal actions could affect someone else.
Perhaps now would be a good time to wrap things up, as I’m sure you have a lot more to do (watch Netflix, socialize with others, take a nap… maybe do some homework, if you’re feeling ambitious). I can leave you all with two short lists.
Things to leave behind in the last decade: using the phrase “I’ll pray for you” in place of real concern/prayer, saying things are okay when they really aren’t, and canceling people. Things to start/continue doing in the new decade: learning when to say yes and when to say no, balancing self-care and awareness for others, and last but not least, taking time to focus on the new you. Happy 2020 everyone, good luck in this new decade!