By Joshua Carpenter
For Fall 2022, Houghton College has announced that instead of remodeling Shenawana Hall, it will be demolished and turned into an amusement park.
As President Lewis said in an interview, “What Houghton College needs right now is more fun. What could be more fun than an amusement park? While Shen will certainly be missed, with plans for a new men’s dorm in discussion, students have impressed upon me the importance of making Houghton a much more enjoyable campus right now.” To accomplish this, the college has decided to construct one very large Gravitron, which will be named “Shenitron.” Accompanying Shenitron will be an arcade with mountains of popcorn. Plans for more rides in the future are already in the works.
Plans for the park have been the talk of the town recently, with students and faculty alike all trying to find out what this park is about, especially the men of Shen, who will be losing their home away from home. Some of these “Shen Men” have been approached by the STAR to find out how they are feeling amid their loss.
With the initial reaction of “Hot diggety-dog,” Jonathan Hutmire (‘24), could not believe the news of Shen becoming the grounds for an amusement park. “I don’t think there’d be much change. Same amount of popcorn at least.” To him, “It’ll be sad to lose all the history contained within the carpet stains,” though he is looking forward to “the opportunity to form new carpet stains of our own,” wherever Shen Men end up living. Jon’s also excited about the Shenitron, in which he plans to do his laundry. “That’ll [The Shenitron] definitely will be an upgrade from the current dryers! No more still-damp laundry!”
Micah Williams (‘23), is the 3rd floor RA of Shen and cleaner of its aromatic bathrooms. In his state of grief over Shen’s inevitable destruction, Micah has taken the time to reflect on what made Shen special to him. “I’m going to miss all the amazing scents that just attack your nostrils as you walk into the building. You never know if it’s going to be someone burning popcorn or forgetting to put water in their ramen noodles and just absolutely douse the floor in burnt food smell, or that sweaty foot smell of all the athletes leaving their shoes in the hallway, or even just that… Shen Musk. Ah! What a scent.” And though he is sad to see Shen go, he thinks that all the loud screams from inside of the Shenitron would be nothing out of the ordinary from all the shenanigans of Shen Men, which had more than its fair share of screaming.
Chunsun Lei (‘24) has expressed to the STAR his deepest condolences as the 2nd floor RA of Shen. Lei, who prefers being referred to by his last name, cleans bathrooms on his floor and will miss his job dearly. For him, every night at work is a fulfilling night of fun and dance, of which he calls “mold dancing.” When asked about this act of his, Lei could not contain his excitement. He remarked about his passion for ensuring the Shen men have a clean environment. “Mold dancing” is representative of his enjoyment and enthusiasm for this work. Though he did admit that having a Dance Dance Revolution rig in the new arcade would do well to remind him of his experiences at Shen. Through this game, he wishes to continue on with his mold dancing passion, slipping on the stage without ever falling – all while looking perfectly cool. And one day, maybe he will even find a dance partner of the same style.
If you would like to pay respects to Shenawana Hall as it begins a new chapter, you can attend its service of remembrance at Shen Pond. The service will start at 8pm and end at the break of dawn. Candles will be lit, and root beers will be had.
