By Ethan Oakes
I have fond memories of my life as a homeschooler. My family’s curriculum gave me a lot of room to pursue my interests. As a result, I grew accustomed to having a large amount of freetime which I often spent developing animation projects, tutorials, or just talking with friends online. I didn’t have a lot of major challenges or stressors in my life at the time, so when I came to Houghton in 2018, I was in for a pretty jarring experience. Between classes, homework, and sharing a dormitory with strangers, I quickly realized that my life was taking a drastic turn, but despite the new opportunities Houghton gave me to grow, a part of me refused to let go of the past.
Throughout freshman year, I desperately hoped to keep all of my personal projects going, but I also strived for academic perfection and spent an excessive amount of time making sure all of my schoolwork was immaculate. Ultimately, when I was unable to make the progress I wanted on my personal projects, I grew frustrated. I quickly began fantasizing about how much better things would be once I didn’t have to worry about college anymore, and I could finally get back to working on my projects full time, just as I did during homeschool.
My idealistic mindset had me exhausted by my sophomore year. I started pulling all-nighters in an attempt to fit in everything I wanted to do and wasn’t taking the time to explore the relationships or activities that Houghton offered me outside of academics. As fate would have it, those offers would soon be off the table, as COVID would force me to return home in mid-March. Taking advantage of my circumstances, and recognizing my deteriorating mental state, I decided to spend a year taking classes from the comfort of home. I hoped that it would buy me the time and energy I needed to recognize what I was doing wrong, and come up with a new gameplan.
This ended up being the right move. The relatively lax nature of online lectures had finally given me the chance to let go of my past, recognize my own limitations, prioritize my health, and accept my life as a college student. By the end of junior year, I felt refreshed and ready to return to campus. I could have remained online through my senior year as well, but by this time, I had come to miss friends and faculty on campus, and realized that staying off-campus would have likely thrown away my last opportunity to hang out with some of these people in-person. So with my newfound resolve, I promised to keep my ambitions in check, and walked back onto campus grounds. I do not regret this choice for a single moment, as senior year ended up being the highlight of my academic career.
We may not always like the way our life flows, but if there’s anything the last few years have taught me, it’s to embrace change, and make the most of wherever we find ourselves in life. It is easy to fantasize about how good our lives used to be, or even how great our lives could be if we could only obtain that one special thing, but in doing so, we could be neglecting the joys of the moment. Our ideals may be important, but they shouldn’t consume us to the point of melancholy. Rather, we should look to our ideals for direction, while allowing ourselves to appreciate the simple pleasures of the day. Each day provides a unique experience from the last, and by seeking these experiences out, I believe we can live more fulfilling lives.
When I graduate a few weeks from today, I will once again be presented with the hardships that come from facing a major life change, but this time, I am prepared. I will not fall back into the hole I fell in four years ago. I will use the lessons I learned from my time at Houghton to live my life in the moment, remain thankful for my blessings, and by extension, create a happier future for both myself and others.★
