By Jax Johnson
The strangest of occurrences were reported over the past weekend. Word has spread that a bright light was seen originating from the Houghton STAR office. This bright light was first discovered by Senior Skye Chaapel late one night. They explained the events saying, “As I was walking to the printer one night, past the STAR office, I noticed an odd glow coming from their door’s window. It was a strange, bluish white glow. When I peeked my head into view of the window, I saw something that I would never believe if I hadn’t seen it for myself. The members of the STAR were turning INTO a star in front of my very eyes! I watched as things started to melt in their office from the heat. I had to back away otherwise I might have started to melt!” It is quite a relief that Chaapel got away from the situation without harm. The office itself was another question, which certainly required further investigation.
After getting hearing from Chaapel, I knew this issue needed an expert. I decided to call on Houghton’s own private investigator Hans Rothenbulah and we met to discuss the Star office oddities. “As I vuz vawking past zuh Star Office, I noticed a peculiah light emanating from inside. I tried zuh door vunce, but it vuz locked, so I vent back to my uhzer inwestigation for zeez miniscule Kuhs,” he explained while holding out a few tiny plastic cows with 4-22 written on them.
Multiple reports note that members of the STAR staff have been acting strangely. But becoming a real star? That is certainly fascinating news. Thankfully Chaapel is not alone in their reports. Junior Johanna Lamont noted that she recently found that the editors of the STAR have not been their usual selves.
“It’s weird but the star editors have been acting super odd recently. I can’t put my finger on the change but something is different I guarantee.” Lamont continued by expressing that the editors have had a particularly glowing presence recently.
Unfortunately, the cameras within the office seem to have melted, so more information as to the incident Chaapel witnessed cannot be fully ascertained, but it is clear that something odd is happening in that room. This article is one that may leave more questions than answers. Do they all share the same thoughts, or does each point of the star function separately? Who is going to pay for the melted cameras? How much heat does a STAR editor give off? Are members of the Lantern at risk of a similar affliction? It seems that only time, and perhaps some bright STAR editors may hold the answers. ★
We Are One
We Are One
We Are One
We Are One
We Are One
