By Joshua Carpenter
Last night, Mar. 30, Junior Joshua Carpenter was found in the MacLab ceiling bound from the neck down in computer cables.
The first responder on the scene was Safety and Security Guard Todd Williamson, who only works at night due to a restraining order he received from hunting down and restraining scan-and-scrammers during chapel.
“I don’t know how else to explain it,” says Mr. Williamson, “but there was this weird monster-like growl coming from the MacLab as soon as I entered the Chamberlain Center.”
Although by the time Mr. Williamson arrived at the MacLab, the growling stopped.
“Then there was nothing,” says Mr. Williamson. “Out of fear, I spun around my Houghton-issued Red Ryder BB gun and checked the room for any potential threats.”
By the time Mr. Williamson had cleared the room, he heard struggling from above, which was immediately followed by Carpenter’s bound body breaking through the ceiling and falling on the floor in front of Mr. Williamson.
“It scared me pale,” says Mr. Williamson. “The kid nearly fell on my head he was so close to me. I tried to see if he was alright, but the fall had knocked him unconscious.”
Covering Carpenter’s mouth was a thick layer of duct tape. After peeling the tape from Carpenter’s mouth, Mr. Williamson listened in confusion as Carpenter screamed in terror.
“It was like he was looking right through me – in the gaping hole that became of the ceiling, in which there was nothing, nothing until there appeared something so horrible that defies all logic. Out from there, in the dark space above us, peeked the head of a woman with long black hair, but with the plastic face of a mannequin.”
However, in the next instant, the face retreated into the ceiling as Mr. Harrison rushed Carpenter out of the MacLab and into the night.
After Mr. Williamson saw to Carpenter’s health, they immediately reported the incident to The Houghton STAR’s News Editor, Joshua Carpenter (‘24), who has no relation to the previously described Carpenter. In the interview that followed, it was discovered that the MacLab has a small civilization of mannequin heads in its ceiling.
Free of his cable bounds by the heroism of Mr. Williamson, Carpenter describes what he saw dwelling in the dark recess of the MacLab’s ceiling:
“I’ve seen things you people wouldn’t believe… Mannequins on fire in the ceiling of the MacLab… I watched plastic talk in the dark while I was the only human around. All those moments will haunt me in time, like eyes that never close.”
Mr. Williamson shared concerns of his own, for himself, Carpenter, and any other student who may fall victim to the mannequins in the ceiling.
“Yeah, what he said.”
As of today, Mar. 31, Mr. Williamson has resigned from his position of Safety and Security guard and has retired to a remote location to live out the rest of his life with his wife.
Carpenter, however, is nowhere to be found. All that is known of his whereabouts is that he left the Campus Center in the direction of the rising sun.
His last known words were as follows:
“Beware of Gwendolyn.” ★
