God and Your 20’s

By Dr. Craig Whitmore

It’s my opinion that your 20’s are your most formative years. Now, I thought about writing a piece on politics, church leadership, or some other non-divisive concept, but I really think this topic is more worthy of your attention. Your 20’s are crucial to forming the person you will become. I am not discounting the importance of earlier stages of life. Childhood experiences often have an incredible influence on your future self. In my own life, I trace my decision to get serious about following Jesus to my time in middle school. You can probably look back to experiences in high school that helped shape your journey here, to Houghton.

But the 20’s, where you are now, in my opinion, are working at a whole other level. This is when many of us first get to live our lives how we want. We start choosing when we go to sleep (I’m sure none of you reading this ever stay up past 11pm on a school night), if we eat breakfast, brush our teeth, wash our clothes (please decide to do all of those, your future self will thank you), and what habits we want to continue into our future. 

Despite the exhilaration of all this freedom, I’ve often thought of the 20’s as an extended version of Lord of the Flies. Most of my poor decisions in life trace to these years. God graciously guided me through so many potential pitfalls that I’ve seen many 20-somethings fall into. I have a family friend who attends another college here in New York who has already seen three students in her dorm complex taken away by either ambulance or police since the beginning of the semester. Freedom is great, but without the choice to act responsibly, it seems to always lead to problems.

One choice that I would argue is of paramount importance is what you choose to do about “church” in your 20’s. I once heard the results of a study that found Christian university students used more water (to shower) during church service times on Sunday mornings than any other day of the week. I haven’t been able to verify the accuracy (nor even the existence of this study), but I would imagine that the concept wouldn’t surprise many of you. I can remember when I was a 20-something undergrad deciding that I would attend the “Church of the Fluffy Pillow” instead of making the trip to a local church.

My own journey through my 20’s was very … tumultuous. I struggled with understanding my place and purpose in life, even as a life-long Christian. Depression, losing my sense of self, and struggling to make friends were all part of this magical experience. I attended five different schools trying out several different degree programs along the way (including teaching, which it took five years to come back to). I stayed moderately involved with local churches, but it wasn’t until I really started serving in a youth ministry that God “grounded” me in a good way. I found that serving others at church helped me better understand myself, what I wanted to do, and gave me clarity on where God was leading me. I’m pretty sure I got much more from being a youth group volunteer than the youth did. Including a wife: finding my spouse at church, someone who was heading the same way that I was in life, has been the greatest blessing God has sent my way.

And here is where I would make my appeal to you as a once-was-20-something, current father of three 20-somethings and a part-time youth director (well, mini-director at best – we only have 30 5th-12th grade students): find a way to stay plugged in with a local church. Whether you just attend on Sundays (the pastor will probably memorize your name the first week), attend their college group (staffed by people who, oddly enough, want to minister to 20-somethings), volunteer in children’s programs (they will think you are OLD, but you will definitely be loved on), or serve in some other capacity, God will use it to help shape who you will be for the rest of your life.

The 20’s are perhaps the most difficult, fantastic, challenging, formative time of life. God used the experience of volunteering at a local youth group to pull me from the doldrums of 20-somethingness and into the person I am now. You also might find that plugging into a local church helps set you up for the rest of your wife … er, life. ★