Author: Houghton STAR

What is home? This question was posed and discussed by President Mullen the first day of classes, and prompted a lot of reflection in my own heart about how the Holy Spirit has been convicting me about what I call “home.”

As I moved out of my childhood “home” and into my Grandma’s house for college during my freshman year, I began to develop a crisis. I spent most of my time at college, slept and “lived” at Grandma’s, grew up where my parents live, studied abroad a semester in a place where I grew roots, and then lived at a camp every summer. With so many places and people, what did home mean to me?

I fell into the party of students President Mullen described in chapel who are disappointed after coming here because Houghton did not meet the glorious and romanticized picture of “home.” For me, that picture had been painted in my head by my family since infancy (Go Highlanders!). Struggling with my physical insecurity of a place to call “home,” I examined my loneliness and confusion. This search began with identity. By knowing where my identity lies, I thought I could figure out where home was.

What was that identity? My identity, I know for certain, is that I am a child of God and a servant in His glorious Kingdom. He identifies my worldview, influences how I make decisions, and determines what I choose to believe in or act upon. Feeling like a nomad of sorts in this world, I eventually came to the conclusion that my “home” is in heaven with Jesus, so wherever Jesus is, that is where my home is here on earth.

I feel “at home” when I am in the presence of my Savior and in a place of deep fellowship with His followers. But even in isolation, my “home” is ultimately located in my relationship with Christ. I once read of a missionary who was imprisoned in solitary confinement for a year. When he was released and people asked what it was like, he responded, “It was like a honeymoon with Jesus.”

May even in our loneliest moment, Jesus be home! “Home” can be wherever I am, whether that be at Houghton, my grandmother’s, the town I grew up in, Africa, camp, or anywhere else on this earth. My earthly home is found in my relationship with Christ and His church. To be “at home,” I think, is to draw near to Jesus and the foot of the cross. The closer one is to Jesus, the more at home they will feel in Him and with others.

In an article I was recently reading regarding Billy Graham and his stance on racial issues, I came across this quote, “The closer people of all races get to Christ and his cross, the closer they will get to one another.” This concept, I believe, carries into our Houghton community. The more emphasis that is placed on Jesus and surrendering our lives to Him at the foot of the cross, the more united Houghton will be in relationships with the Savior and with one another. Billy Graham also said, “History shows that the thought of Christ on the cross has been more potent than anything else in arousing a compassion for suffering and indignation at injustice.” With all the chaos, hurt, and other issues plaguing this campus, I keep drawing to the conclusion that the answer to all of this lies in Jesus Christ and the gospel, as simple or profound as that may sound.

I long more than anything for Christ Jesus to be glorified at Houghton College. I hope we may be a body of believers whose identity, passions, purpose, and “home” will be found in Jesus and His work at the cross of Calvary. By being at home in Christ, we will adopt as a body this Calvary love that crosses all barriers.

Aubrey is a senior majoring in inclusive childhood education and intercultural studies. 

In our society, there are so many opinions, ideas and prototypes thrown at us for what the ideal body looks like.  Sure these standards may change every few years or so, from small women to tall men, from skin and bone European models to our cultural fascination with “thicc,”but there is always a standard.  With lines of beauty clearly defined by society, there are always many people that do not fit into that mold of “beautiful” or “handsome.”

The people that fall outside these beauty standards feel inward shame, anger, and sadness.  These feelings  alone are a terrible effect of cultural image standards, but even more disheartening is that some people then form unhealthy eating as a solution. However,  this isn’t entirely a matter of choice, as Eastern University’s assistant professor of psychology, Michael Thomas, pointed out in chapel on Monday.  Biopsychology has found a genetic leaning that, with excessive pressure to meet a bodily standard, causes people with a certain genetic makeup to resort to disordered eating.  Disordered eating is not genetic-based or choice-based alone.   

Both women and men, but more often women, will conceptualize what they need to look like to be beautiful. To achieve this, some people undergo large periods of fasting (a day or more), with either large binges of massive calorie consumption or small meals between these fasts. Or they may restrict all their food and calorie consumption.  Others may eat vast quantities of food and “purge” it after a meal by vomiting or excessive workouts.  Some may feel they are two skinny and desire to be “thicc” so much that they eat to the point of pain and illness at every meal.

More people are affected by this than we think, and definitely more than we can see.  So what can people without eating disorders do to help?

Primarily, remember that everyone is different.  A key concept I’ve learned from my psychology degree, my Christian faith, and my friends who suffer from eating disorders is to  be empathetic.  Loving your neighbors and being empathetic towards them doesn’t seem like a breakthrough, but that is where we, as Christians and peers, should always start.  We must love our neighbors enough to pay attention to those around us.  Notice if someone is rapidly gaining or losing wait, notice if they binge or they go to the bathroom right after most meals (they might be vomiting each time), notice if they are losing vibrancy and energy.  Some people you think might have an eating disorder, may not in fact.  We make mistakes, but that’s ok because we’re still displaying God’s love by paying attention to our neighbors.

But if we do find a friend is showing signs of disordered eating, what should we do?  The worst thing to do, as a friend or peer, is to try to give the person therapy ourselves.   Instead, we should start by simply being present and being a friend.  Ask someone you noticed displaying disordered eating habits how they are doing, take an interest in their lives, and show that you care about their well-being. Please do not explicitly (and bluntly) ask a person right away if they have an eating disorder.  For example, show you care about the person by mentioning you’ve noticed they have lost a lot of weight recently or that they don’t really seem to be eating much at meals and ask them why. Then, both you and the person of a suspected eating disorder, should continue talking and pray God gives you wisdom and direction.  You may find out you’re wrong, or you may need to suggest they go to the counselling center if their condition seems dangerous.  Another option is to go online to the “counseling services” section of Houghton College’s website and refer someone (or yourself) to take a “free online confidential screening” if they are afraid of gaining weight or are worried about their eating habits.   But remember, you cannot force anyone to go to the counseling center, or to take a test.

There are no clear guidelines because every situation is different and people who have disordered eating symptoms are unique in how they deal with them. But I promise, if you approach an individual with a true sense of empathy and compassion for their well-being, you will be heading in the right direction.