While some students may be waiting for a “ring by spring”, four current Houghton students are learning what it’s like to be a student while being married. Juniors Rachel Brunea and Dan Bellerose, as well as seniors Cherith Sylor and Ben Yuly got married over the summer.
Rachel and Dan met as freshman and dated for a year before they got engaged. Both Rachel and Dan lived in the dorms their first two years. Now they live with their dog Mandy in a rented apartment on route 19.
Cherith and Ben first met in second grade when they played on the same T-ball team. They forgot about each other after attending separate middle and high schools, but met again during their first year at Houghton. The couple dated for six months before they got engaged. Both Ben and Cherith have been commuters throughout their time at Houghton and are now living in a rented apartment, attached to a professor’s house, on Fancher Drive.
Although it is a lot of responsibility, both couples have enjoyed having a sense of freedom as well as leaving the dorm atmosphere and living in a real house. Rachel commented, “It’s been a little stressful as we are both working 15-20 hours every week and doing school. It’s been difficult doing that as well as home life and making time for friends.”
In taking on the responsibility that comes with being married, one of their biggest challenges has been finances, both Rachel and Dan doubled their work hours in order to pay rent and taxes.
Dan said, “We had to form a plan and realize, sometimes school isn’t always the most important thing. It’s easy to get sucked into work and school, but it’s important to make sure Rachel and I spend time together.” The couple reflected on a time they got home from classes and instead of doing homework right away, went to Moss Lake, to spend time together.
While being married in college can be difficult, it also has its advantages. As the dynamics of social life around campus have changed for both couples, they have enjoyed the changes and feel like they are not missing out on college life.
On the weekends Rachel and Dan try to fit in everything they haven’t been able to do during the week, like hanging out with friends. The couple take their dog for a walk every Saturday, and carpool with friends to Mt. Irenaeus every Sunday morning for Church. However, despite being busy, the couple has been striving in the classroom. Dan said, “Academically, this has been my best semester yet.”
Cherith and Ben have also had to adjust to the daily life of marriage, but overall they have felt it is less stressful. In the past it was very difficult to try and find time to spend together because they were both commuters, living in separate towns, without cars. While they still don’t have a car, it is much more convenient to be with each other.
Cherith’s father works at Houghton, so she would have to rely on his schedule to get a ride to and from school every day. She commented, “It has been great to sleep in a little bit, walk to school when I’m ready, and just come home and hangout at the end of the day.”
Ben and Cherith eat all their meals at home together and enjoy supporting local businesses when they go out. Ben commented, “Dinner’s not always glorious, sometimes that means ramen on the couch while watching TV, but we love getting to share our meals together.”
On the weekend, they catch up on homework from a busy week and attend church every Sunday. Since both of their families live close, they try to see them at least once a week. Ben commented, “We see our families pretty consistently on Sunday or we invite them over during the week.”
Since they were both commuting from home, Ben and Cherith have enjoyed the freedom of living away from their parents. They have felt like they have more independence and control in their lives. Ben said, “It’s nice to have our own place to go back to and get away from people when we want. You can force yourself to relax.”
Cherith commented, “It’s been difficult trying to juggle being my mom and being a student.” In the past both Cherith and Ben could focus on school and work while their parents took care of the house. Now, they have had to create a plan to take on all of the responsibility.
Through the busyness of school life both couples agreed that they still see friends as much as usual. They’ve really enjoyed having a place where they can invite friends. Cherith commented, “We spent more time with friends now because we have a place to invite them to.”
With graduation quickly approaching, both couples have started thinking about future plans. Ben and Cherith will graduate this spring. The couples will move out of Houghton after graduation and travel to a new home based on the outcome of Ben’s grad school applications for Fall 2016.
Dan and Rachel will study abroad in Tanzania this spring semester and will be the first married students to enroll in Houghton’s Tanzania program. Following graduation in 2017, the couple wants to move to Oregon where Dan will attend grad school and Rachel will find a job working with plants and botany.
While Ben, Cherith, Dan and Rachel are all living different lives compared to most college students, through their marriages, they are really very similar to regular students. They take on the same activities and schedules of the everyday student. Marriage has simply made their relationship easier as they get to be with each other every step of the way in a home they can enjoy together.