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Mac Lab Mannequin Mishaps (STAR April Fools 2023)

An Artistic Rendering of what Joshua Experienced -- Courtesy of Savannah Stitt
By Joshua Carpenter

Last night, Mar. 30, Junior Joshua Carpenter was found in the MacLab ceiling bound from the neck down in computer cables.  

The first responder on the scene was Safety and Security Guard Todd Williamson, who only works at night due to a restraining order he received from hunting down and restraining scan-and-scrammers during chapel.

“I don’t know how else to explain it,” says Mr. Williamson, “but there was this weird monster-like growl coming from the MacLab as soon as I entered the Chamberlain Center.” 

Although by the time Mr. Williamson arrived at the MacLab, the growling stopped. 

“Then there was nothing,” says Mr. Williamson. “Out of fear, I spun around my Houghton-issued Red Ryder BB gun and checked the room for any potential threats.” 

By the time Mr. Williamson had cleared the room, he heard struggling from above, which was immediately followed by Carpenter’s bound body breaking through the ceiling and falling on the floor in front of Mr. Williamson. 

“It scared me pale,” says Mr. Williamson. “The kid nearly fell on my head he was so close to me. I tried to see if he was alright, but the fall had knocked him unconscious.” 

Covering Carpenter’s mouth was a thick layer of duct tape. After peeling the tape from Carpenter’s mouth, Mr. Williamson listened in confusion as Carpenter screamed in terror. 

“It was like he was looking right through me – in the gaping hole that became of the ceiling, in which there was nothing, nothing until there appeared something so horrible that defies all logic. Out from there, in the dark space above us, peeked the head of a woman with long black hair, but with the plastic face of a mannequin.” 

However, in the next instant, the face retreated into the ceiling as Mr. Harrison rushed Carpenter out of the MacLab and into the night. 

After Mr. Williamson saw to Carpenter’s health, they immediately reported the incident to The Houghton STAR’s News Editor, Joshua Carpenter (‘24), who has no relation to the previously described Carpenter. In the interview that followed, it was discovered that the MacLab has a small civilization of mannequin heads in its ceiling.  

Free of his cable bounds by the heroism of Mr. Williamson, Carpenter describes what he saw dwelling in the dark recess of the MacLab’s ceiling: 

“I’ve seen things you people wouldn’t believe… Mannequins on fire in the ceiling of the MacLab… I watched plastic talk in the dark while I was the only human around. All those moments will haunt me in time, like eyes that never close.” 

Mr. Williamson shared concerns of his own, for himself, Carpenter, and any other student who may fall victim to the mannequins in the ceiling. 

“Yeah, what he said.” 

As of today, Mar. 31, Mr. Williamson has resigned from his position of Safety and Security guard and has retired to a remote location to live out the rest of his life with his wife.  

Carpenter, however, is nowhere to be found. All that is known of his whereabouts is that he left the Campus Center in the direction of the rising sun. 

His last known words were as follows: 

“Beware of Gwendolyn.” ★

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Lyric Theater’s “Into the Woods”

"Into the Woods" Cast Members rehearsing -- Credit Savannah Stitt
By Abigail Bates

Starting March 30 – this Thursday – at 7 p.m., four performances of Lyric Theatre’s “Into the Woods” will be held in the Wesley Chapel. Following opening night, March 31 and April 1 have a show at 7 p.m., with a matinee at 2 p.m. on Saturday.

“We’ve been rehearsing since January, and we actually cast the show–we had auditions and everything back last November,” says Professor Amanda Cox, director of the musical.

Professor Cox does this so singers have time to start preparing their characters and music, especially for a more complicated musical like “Into the Woods”, a musical written by James Lapine, with music by Stephen Sondheim.

Singers spent about two weeks learning the music, and then they created staging. After this step, the singers layered in who their role’s character is, and how to interact with other characters onstage.

“It’s like building blocks, but if you skip some of the bottom ones, the whole thing’s gonna fall down,” Professor Cox laughs.

The remaining steps are props, costumes, and everything else, including the pit orchestra conducted by Dr. Timothy McGarvey. He’s responsible for keeping the show moving through cues to singers in the more complicated portions of Stephen Sondheim’s melodies.

“He [Sondheim] is a very inventive and creative, and kind of–difficult to learn sometimes–composer. He makes really interesting rhythmic choices that are unexpected,” Professor Cox comments.

Singers have to simultaneously learn the notes and rhythms while training their brains to anticipate different and unexpected rhythms. On top of this, Professor Cox explains, the singers are memorizing the lyrics and dialogue, as this musical contains an even mix of dialogue and lyrics.

Key difficulties for the singers lie in counting correctly to begin on time and singing in the right places during group numbers.

Junior Josey Ikker (‘24) is double cast for the role of Red with Grace Vuolo (‘24). Ikker  practices  memorizing lines and lyrics by playing the music or scene on repeat and listening to the line before hers for timing. As she’s worked with her role, she has formed a deeper understanding of Red.

“With Red,” Ikker says, “she does have that level of innocence, like there’s more innocence in her than how I’ve pictured it when I first watched the show. And you see her as, like, this very innocent girl at first. But then, as the story continues, you kinda see, like that small sense of the dark sense of humor that she has.”

“Into the Woods” is a story about humanity and choices, Professor Cox says. It’s about seeing others as human and trying to empathize and understand the choices they make, even if you disagree in the end.

“My favorite thing of sharing with an audience,” Professor Cox says, “is always just the absolute magic and power of theater to invite people to think about things that they didn’t know they were gonna think about when they walked in the door. It’s like, a little bit subversive, but in a good way.” ★

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Around the World in a Night

"Around the World in a Night" poster -- Courtesy of Isabella Paschalis 
By Victoria Hock

          On Saturday from 7-9 p.m., in the Center for the Arts Atrium, the Intercultural Student Association (ISA) will host their annual “Around the World in a Night” event.

           ISA Cabinet Member and Junior Christianna Fisk notes that “ISA’s mission is to help students of various cultural backgrounds form strong relationships built on healthy cross-cultural communication.”

          According to Fisk, “This event [Around the World in a Night] is a celebration of international cultures, especially focused on those represented here on campus.” She further adds, “We have gathered a group of intercultural students and faculty who hope to share some impressions of their culture with the larger Houghton community.”

           At Around the World in a Night, Fisk says attendees can expect participants to share various activities and snacks from continents throughout the world.

          Junior Grace Vuolo is one of the students who will participate in this event. She will represent Columbia, where her Grandad, a first-generation immigrant to America, was born. 

Vuolo remarked that she is “proud” of her Grandad’s “tenacity in searching out and working hard for a new life,” and is excited to represent her and her Grandad’s heritage.

           She also feels that this event is an important one because “it helps educate and inform other University students of different cultures that they may not be familiar with in sheltered and privileged America, and two, it helps the University students representing their heritage to remember and be proud of where their family comes from, all geographically, culturally, and historically.”

          Fisk expressed similar sentiments, saying, “Around the World in a Night is meant to foster awareness of multiculturalism and be a time of joyful engagement with people whose stories are meant to be valued.”

           Those who want to learn about the different cultures at Houghton while experiencing various activities and enjoying snacks should stop by Around the World in a Night this Saturday evening. ★

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Houghton Buffalo Closes

Houghton Buffalo students and faculty gather for picture -- Courtesy of Jannatul Noshin
By Sarah Burton

On Jan. 23, 2023, President Lewis visited Houghton University Buffalo and announced that they would not be accepting any new students to the commuter campus. It was first opened in 2014, and this news has come as a shock to many. In a letter published on Jan. 24, he explains the reasons behind the situation.

The Buffalo Extension Site was not approved to become a Center when President Lewis first applied for it to become one in 2021. Part of the process for it to be approved was consulting existing colleges and universities within the city of Buffalo. 

Erie Community College, Buffalo State College, and Niagara County Community College objected to Houghton Buffalo, thinking that Houghton’s approval would be, as President Lewis paraphrased, “detrimental to existing institutions” in the area.

Due to this kind of backlash in Buffalo, approval was halted and made increasingly more difficult. According to President Lewis, “[Houghton Buffalo] was notified on Dec. 27, 2022 that it would not be approved as an Extension Center.” If Houghton were to continue the fight for approval, the master plan for the entire University would have to change.

He states at the conclusion of his letter that “while we will no longer admit new students in Buffalo… Houghton remains steadfastly committed to our current students… and we will serve them through completion of their Houghton degrees.”

Interim Dean of Houghton University Buffalo Steve Strand describes the loss that is felt by faculty, staff, and students alike, saying that “They [Faculty and Staff] are very committed to the work here… [they] feel a sense of loss because they are intensely motivated by a strong sense of mission to serve students.”

Student Financial Services Specialist Ginny Dadaian also remarks on this sense of loss, showing true passion in her responses. 

“I love Houghton University,” she exclaimed. “All across the US, private and public colleges and universities are struggling, unfortunately Houghton University is a victim of this wave.”

Dadaian, as well as several students, remarked on the impact of surrounding schools in the Buffalo area on the closing of Houghton Buffalo.

 “I was thinking about furthering my education after my two year degree, but now I don’t know what to do,” states David Elliot, a sophomore. 

Many of the students from Houghton Buffalo express deep concern for the branch’s closure. In particular, Desiree Radford has decided to take full course loads for both semesters of 2023, as well as a summer session to complete her degree by the winter. 

“Even though President Lewis promised that we would all be able to complete our degree plan,” Radford says, “I just don’t have faith in that promise anymore.”

Radford also expresses the worries of the student body of Houghton Buffalo, stating “I am left to wonder why minorities always get the short end of the stick. I am very happy being at Houghton Buffalo, but I don’t feel like I am a part of Houghton University. So, I am very sickened by this decision.”

Many students from Houghton Buffalo are deeply concerned about the future of their education and the lack of resources they have now, upon hearing of the closing of their school. Transportation is an issue for several and there is a distinct lack of trust many feel, with many saying the student body wasn’t aware or involved until the visit made by President Lewis.

The closing of Houghton University Buffalo shocked many in the community. It has also challenged the community, with many mixed feelings from faculty, staff, and students about the situation. Its lasting impact has yet to be seen, with some expressing hope for the future and others suffering from a severe sense of grief and discontent. ★

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SPOT Returns!

Zimmerman [left] and Capone [right] -- Courtesy of Julianna Capone
By Jax Johnson

Tomorrow night at 10 p.m. in the Wesley Chapel, one of the biggest Houghton events returns! Hosted by Junior Julianna Capone  and Senior Anna Zimmerman , this year’s SPOT is bringing us all the way back to vacation bible school, with student videos, live music, assorted shenanigans, and more! 

As many students know, SPOT is a big tradition at Houghton. Every semester, students gather for a wild ride of a variety show with all kinds of acts relating to a theme. No two SPOTs are the same, so it is always interesting to see what students come up with each year, which also makes SPOT a perfect time for students to display all types of talents and creative projects. And, as Hall Brawl week comes to a close this week, the winners of the competition will be announced as part of the SPOT programming. 

Zimmerman talks about the upcoming SPOT saying, “This year’s theme is Vacation Bible Spot, based on Vacation Bible School that I’m guessing many of us attended as kids. The music will be rocking – expect versions of some Veggie Tales songs like you’ve never heard before. The videos will be funny- ever wonder where the giant H on the quad came from? Or what it’s like to go into Paine as a non-STEM major?And there will be interactive activities that you might just get to be a part of throughout! Along with the After Spot Sale in the Campus Store, the fun will continue at a late night After Party in the main level of the CC. Think: lots of snacks, games, some arts and crafts, and a VBS photo booth.”

Senior Linette Taylor, who will be returning this semester as part of the SPOT band, shares her excitement for the event, saying, “This is my third time being a part of SPOT band. It’s so much fun to get to make some music with my friends that isn’t part of my classes! I really look forward to it every semester.” 

As hall brawl winds to a close, students can look forward to vacation bible SPOT! Not only is it an opportunity to support fellow students, but it also is a time to unwind and have a laugh with friends. Any student can come, and are all welcomed. ★

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Houghton Choir 2023 Tour

Courtesy of Andrew Reith
By Josey Ikker

Over Spring Break from Feb. 24 through Mar. 3, the Houghton University Choir traveled around New York, to Pennsylvania, Maryland and Virginia for their Choir Tour. 

Each night, the Houghton Choir had the opportunity to spread the message of Christ through music in Salamanca, Hamburg and Webster, NY; Bird In Hand, Greencastle and State College, PA; and Sterling, VA. The choir also had the opportunity to work with local high schools in PA, VA and MD, participating in workshops, chapel services and rehearsals, as well as performing excerpts of their concerts. 

The Houghton Choir is the only ensemble in the Greatbatch School of Music that consists of students who are sophomores and above and have been practicing traditional choral music since the beginning of the academic school year. 

Dr. Kevin Dibble, the conductor of the Houghton choir and director of choral activities at Houghton, expresses his thoughts on Tour, stating that his favorite experience was “spending time getting to know all of the students on Tour.” 

Rebekah Scharf, a second-year graduate student in conducting, and the assistant conductor for Houghton choir, also expresses her thoughts, stating, “I loved getting to meet people and just getting some good bonding time with the choir.” 

The Houghton Choir’s statement of mission states as follows: “As the Houghton Choir, we seek to glorify God personally and corporately by upholding and extending a rich tradition of excellence in choral music. Through a diversity of choral literature, we aspire to minister the life-transforming power of God’s love and grace to all who hear us. We strive to live humbly as a community of individuals who love and value each other because of our desire to reach others for Him and our understanding of Christ’s love for us as His children. Soli deo Gloria; Latin for To God be the Glory.

Many favorite pieces of repertoire from the program include composers by Elaine Hagenberg, Stacey Gibbs, Alice Parker, Dan Forrest, and Larry Fleming, as well as a premiere piece written for Tour and composed by Ethan Carr, another 2nd-year graduate student. 

“‘I Went to the Woods’ was written by one of my closest friends [Ethan Carr] and it was wonderful getting the chance to conduct it,” says Scharf, who was mentioning her favorite pieces from the concert.

Her other favorite piece is “O Love”, although she was uncertain exactly why it was meaningful to her. 

“It just touched me more and more and it was also one of those pieces where we had choral members from other churches join us,” says Scharf.

Dr. Dibble also listed his favorite repertoire.

In “Christ the Appletree”, “I was reminded that all of the students have shown me the goodness of God and I think about all the students as fruit and the goodness it has shown,” says Dr. Gibble. “‘Great is Thy Faithfulness’ is a fantastic hymn of the faith all of our audiences and singers can relate to. ‘Give Me Jesus’ has meant a lot to me since I was a student [at Houghton] and continuing that tradition has been a privilege.”

All are welcome to come and worship with the Houghton Choir at their free concert “Christ Our Home” on Friday, Mar. 10 at 7:30 p.m. in the Wesley Chapel. ★

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Czech Republic Mission Trip

Courtesy of Cindy Austin
By Victoria Hock

Houghton students were busy over Spring Break. Some went on vacation, some traveled for sports training, others relaxed at home, and then there were the Eight Houghton students (including one December graduate) who went on a mission trip to the Czech Republic.

This trip was run through Global Partners, which, according to their official website, is an organization that works towards “Amplifying local church mission for global transformation.” 

Junior Sarah Rider was one of the students who traveled on the trip, noting that group members “all learned so much about the importance of authentic relationship building as a part of starting and growing churches.” 

Rider further adds that attendees had the opportunity to learn “about the history of Czech culture,” and that they were able to meet and make friends with a lot of Czech people, who she described as “wonderful.”

Students on the mission trip were hosted by two Houghton alumni, Kevin and Cindy Austin. 

Senior Kendra Evans, another mission trip attendee, commented on the impact the Austins had, stating, “Both of them have shared extreme hospitality with our team while we were in the Czech Republic.”

Junior Hope Willert, another student who went on the mission trip, also shared the impact that the Austins had on their trip. 

“We got to see a lot of what missions look like for them, which we learned is based primarily on building relationships and sharing the faith through them.”

 Students had the opportunity to participate in many different activities while on the mission trip. “We visited local schools, helped out at a church youth event, had Czech lessons, traveled to three different cities (including Prague!), tried lots of Czech foods, and so much more,” says Willert.

Evans noted that students were able to visit places like Pogêbrody, Kutna Hora, and Brno, in addition to Prague. She also added that they were able to assist with a conversation club to teach English to adults in Brno, as well as a “youth hangout with high schoolers.”

Helping out with a few Christian organizations was another opportunity that Evans mentioned.

“It was great to see and help the Christian organizations in the Czech Republic,” says Evans, “Mijak (which means lighthouse in Czech) and Remedy (a church of twenty people). Christianity is kept on the down low due to the Czech Republic having the highest concentration of those who do not associate themselves with a religion.”

Evans also discussed that they saw “the effects of the war in Ukraine,” and they became friends with Ukrainian Refugees.

Overall, attendees seem to be in agreement that they were positively impacted by their mission trip, with Willert stating that after talking with the people who went on the mission trip, she feels that they “have all been changed for the better because of this experience.” She further added that “God clearly worked through the people there to open our eyes to the new culture and the missions field there. Coming home, we are all inspired to find more ways in our lives where we can serve God in both big and small ways.” ★

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Highlander Spring Athletics in Full Swing

Courtesy of Jason Mucher
By Caleb Welker

All statistics as of 3/6/2023

Houghton University’s Spring Athletic Season has officially begun. The Highlander Baseball, Softball, and Men’s tennis seasons have started, while the men’s and women’s track and field season transitions from indoor to outdoor. It has been a long wait for many, and the wait is finally over as last week the contests began for our spring athletes.

Houghton Baseball’s season has started with an up-and-down trip to Florida. The preparation for the season mainly consisted of indoor practices in the KPAC due to weather, but the Highlanders worked through the circumstances to prepare. When the time came for them to compete, the Highlanders seemed to start flat. Before the trip, Houghton played an impromptu game versus Pitt-Bradford, in which they lost 11-3. Then, a week later, they lost the first two games of their Florida trip. However, they eventually were able to ramp things up, putting together a three-game win streak; but after that, they lost their next four games. Despite narrowly losing their first game on the last day of the trip, the Highlanders used the momentum that they had built from a late-game surge to push past Norwich by the score of 17-6. Throughout the trip, several players stood out on both sides of the ball. Offensively, Zach Parr (‘23) and Ian Slate (‘24) led the team in batting average on the trip, collecting 22 of the Highlanders’ 90 team hits in the first eleven games. Meanwhile, Pitcher Aiden Talcott (‘26) led the team to two victories, including a seven-inning complete game against Chatham.

The Highlander Softball Team struggled during their first stretch of the season, falling short in each of their eight games in Florida. Like Baseball, most of their practices were indoors, but the softball team wasn’t able to schedule any games before their trip, so their first action was in Florida. They fought hard in each of their games against tough opponents, as their best game came against Adrian College, in which they fought hard until the very end, but unfortunately came up just short of the Bulldogs, losing 4-3. Leading the way on offense for the Highlanders was Junior Carlee Miller.  Miller hit .429 with three doubles over the trip. Alisabeth Crandall (‘24) and Kayla Loomis (‘23) led the way on the mound with four strikeouts each while Jen Burrows (‘23) tacked on three strikeouts.  

Men’s Tennis came out of the gates well, with a 2-3 start to their season. The Highlanders had previously battled with Allegheny in the fall, and Ithaca before February Break, falling to both of them to start the season 0-2, but they strung together two wins to open their Spring Break and lost to St. Bonaventure to close it out. Two of their first five matches were on the home courts of Houghton’s Kerr Pegula Field House, where tennis has spent most of its time practicing. When the weather cooperates, they will compete up the hill at the tennis courts near the Nielsen Center.  One of the highlights of the week was the Highlanders’ impressive 9-0 rout of Wilkes University. The Highlanders blew the Colonels out of the water, not surrendering a single set. Four Highlanders, Sam Bonisteel (‘26), Nolan Zach (‘25), Marcello Garcia (‘26), and Adam Brown (‘23), had perfect sets in the win. 

As the indoor track season comes to a close, the Highlanders look forward to the Spring Season. The Highlanders men’s and women’s teams combined for ten podium appearances at the Empire 8 Championship event on Feb. 24-25. These appearances include two first-place finishes. The first is from Senior Amanda Burrichter, who won the Women’s 3,000-meter championship with a time of 10:15.82.  The second is from Graduate Student Malachi Yeager, who won the heptathlon with a Houghton University record of 4,464 points. 

Finally, as spring sports begin, one more Houghton Winter Sport has yet to come to a close. Women’s Basketball will head to Indiana next week to compete in the National Christian College Athletic Association’s Division I National Championship tournament. They will be guaranteed three games with more information as to who they will play coming soon. ★

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Ortlip Gallery Juried Exhibition

Courtesy of Aubree Niles
By Jax Johnson

Tonight, from 6:30 to 8 p.m., the Ortlip Gallery will host the reception for its 34th annual Juried Student Exhibition. This exhibition consists of various artworks submitted by Houghton students, including paintings, photographs, sculptures, and even animations. In addition to the art presentation, awards will be given to student artists at 7:00 p.m.

As submissions are accepted regardless of major, this event provides students with an opportunity to publicize their work and be judged by an outside artist. For other students, this is an opportunity to see the different projects of their peers. 

Junior Hannah Smith, who is showing both a sculpture and a painting in the exhibition, talks about how she enjoys seeing all of the different submissions in the exhibit, saying, “We have some pretty awesome pieces going into the student jury show . . . some fantastic [Painting 1] submissions. We always get some good pieces from that class.”

Another student who will be presenting her art is Junior Rebecca Haro, who also expresses excitement about the upcoming exhibition, saying, “I’m looking forward to seeing the large variety of mediums and personal styles among the selected pieces for the show. The independent creativity and diversity of techniques are always a delight to see at the juried show!” 

Junior Aubree Niles, who along with presenting her art has also been working as an art gallery assistant, talks about the upcoming exhibition.

“What I enjoy about the student juried show is the variety of artwork displayed,” says Niles. “A variety of media, subject matter, and style is evident. Houghton has some extraordinarily talented students, and I love to see what my fellow peers produce. Seeing my own work in a professional setting is so valuable to me as well (when it is accepted, that is). Also, as an art gallery assistant, it is a fun challenge to have such a wide range of work to arrange and display. The whole process is exciting, but the opening reception is my favorite part. I, as well as many other students, will have work on display. I hope to see you there!” 

Tonight’s art reception allows attendees to view the wide variety of artwork that has been produced by students across campus. Come to the Ortlip Gallery tonight from 6:30 to 8 p.m. to see what the Juried Student Exhibition has to offer. ★

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Lambein’s Got Talent

Courtesy of Nuri park
By Joshua Carpenter

From 8–9:30 p.m. on Saturday, Feb. 18, Houghton University’s Center for the Arts (CFA) will host the talent show “Lambein’s Got Talent,” in which students from across campus will compete for the grand prize of $100. 

“Let’s be honest,” says Junior Joshua Morris, “$100 is one heck of a prize[,] especially for college students.” 

As the show’s Master of Ceremonies, Morris is responsible for introducing the upcoming acts, facilitating conversations with the three judges (who will remain anonymous until the opening of the event), and entertaining the crowd during the intermission and between acts. 

Morris also added that you “best believe I am going to also be throwing in my own twists and surprises to get some laughs from the crowd too.” 

One of the performers is Junior Jonathan Hutmire, who will perform what he describes as “a moving musical number.” In addition to his performance, Hutmire is looking forward to the “giggles” that will come out of the event. 

Along with the performances, Morris speaks highly of the ways the show aims to entertain its audience, mentioning that audience members will have the chance to be picked by him to come up on stage and win mini prizes like candy and much more.  

Men’s Area Coordinator Shua Wilmot facilitated planning for the event with his assistant, ARD of Lambein Senior Adam McCutcheon.  

Speaking on the event’s formation, Wilmot says that the whole purpose of the event is “to get Lambein residents engaging with one another in new ways, for them to see a different side of their peers, and to have a Lambein event that is open to the broader student body.” 

Towards the end of the event, he will perform in a short play that he hopes, as he does with the entirety of the play, “will offer students a fun evening that will make them forget about their homework and their worries for a little while.”

“People should come out for [the show] because Josh Morris is going to be a fantastic Master of Ceremonies,” says Wilmot, “and it will be a joy to see if Lambein’s Got Talent.” ★