If you have been on Facebook or Twitter recently, you may have noticed some posts with only the words: “Me too.” In fact, if you had any sort of experience similar to mine, you were probably startled at the number of women posting those two words to their feeds and timelines. It all began on Sunday, October 15, in wake of the news about Harvey Weinstein, when actress and activist Alyssa Milano went online on Twitter to call all women who have been sexually harassed or assaulted to write “me too” to show how pervasive the problem really is. I was so heartbroken by how many of my good friends have been victims of sexual assault or harassment, and it left me wondering what we can do to stop this epidemic.
We, as a society, aren’t holding men to the standard that we could be. Why do we continue to ask women “what did you do to provoke the attack?” when we should really be asking men “what could you have done to prevent the attack?” And the problem is rooted deeper than just physical attacks on women. We all, men and women alike, need to stop treating women as inferior beings only obsessed with the latest hairstyles or fashions. We need to stop using gendered insults that imply women are weaker and lesser, and we need to start teaching boys and girls at a much younger age that girls should be valued for more than her looks.
Guys, now I’m speaking to you. We need to do better. First of all, we really shouldn’t be waiting to have these conversations about sexual assault AFTER the problem already happened. Women don’t owe us anything – including their stories. But we should still be taking a stand for them and advocate for their safety. And that means that we’re going to have to stand against the other guys who perpetuate and promote harmful behavior. It’s going to be an awkward process; it’s going to mean we have to say “that’s not funny” when our friend makes a joke that objectifies a woman, it means we can’t argue with people who have experienced oppression in ways we haven’t, and it means we need to be careful about demanding answers and information from victims.
For everyone who wants to and is already taking a stand for women and against this oppression they face, we must not forget the men who feel silenced from joining in the #MeToo movement. There are men out there who have been victims of abuse and attack, but feel the need to stay quiet because many times their painful experiences are just as disqualified as women’s. Instead, though, many men are told, “Oh, you probably wanted that anyhow.” This is just another result of the toxic society that we live in that tells men that they are made to take control of women.
What I’m saying through all of this is that we need to take a good, hard look at our culture and realize that we’ve been promoting dangerous behavior that allows men like producer Harvey Weinstein to get away with sexual abuse for so long. We need to listen to the victims that are speaking now, we need to realize that there are definitely many victims who still cannot speak out, and we need to take a stand for love. We need to work through the discomfort we will feel as we dissent from being passive about harassment. If we do this, it’s possible to live in a world where there are fewer and fewer “me too” stories.
Jared is a sophomore majoring in communication.