Tag: April Fools
The Meat of the Matter (April Fools 2025)
by Abvi Bats 'XXVI It was about 6:15 in the evening on Rebmevon 8, when Alia Welker ‘48 knew something…
April 05, 2024
Opinions
Flesh is Cringe, Embrace the Machine (April Fools 2024)
By Christian Welker People often ask, “Why go through the trouble of replacing every part of your human body with…
April 05, 2024
News
The Moon Campus Closure (April Fools 2024)
By Abigail Bates ('26) Houghton University’s Moon Campus will be closing on October 1, 3909. Houghton has officially stated that…
March 31, 2023
News
A Star is Born (We Are One) (STAR April Fools 2023)
By Jax Johnson The strangest of occurrences were reported over the past weekend. Word has spread that a bright light…
March 31, 2023
Stories In Focus
Feature: STARbot 9000 (STAR April Fools 2023)
by STARbot 9000 Due to several non-financial reasons, The Administration of Houghton University is introducing a new plan to replace…
March 31, 2023
Columns
Houghton STAR Review (STAR April Fools 2023)
By WARNING: This is not satire! This is a cry for help coming from an unspecified STAR official. If…
March 31, 2023
Opinions
Why the Earth is Flat and You are Wrong (STAR April Fools 2023)
By Elizabeth Sutay We live in an age where fake news is as common as a rainy day. We are…
March 31, 2023
News
Mac Lab Mannequin Mishaps (STAR April Fools 2023)
By Joshua Carpenter Last night, Mar. 30, Junior Joshua Carpenter was found in the MacLab ceiling bound from the neck…