feminism – Houghton STAR

What is chivalry? Quite the fairy tale-like topic, you may think. Not at all. Chivalry is much more than the romanticized deeds of a prince for a princess, of the likes we see in Disney classics. This tradition has, through the years, remained equally important. It is, in my opinion, a stipulation for all men, or at least those who wish to be one someday, to consider.

To answer this question, I’ll begin by briefly looking to the gifted writers, Sir Thomas Malory and C.S. Lewis, hopefully you’ve at least heard of the latter.

Photo by: Nate Moore

Lewis’ “Necessity of Chivalry” isolates a particular quote within Malory’s “Le Morte d’Aurthur,” written in the late 1400s, as a basis for understanding what this idea of chivalry could actually mean. Malory writes in regards to his character, Sir Lancelot: “Thou wert the meekest man that ever ate in hall among ladies; and thou wert the sternest knight…” For the sake of time, I’ll focus on the first portion, which will give us a firm starting point for explaining chivalry.

Chivalrous men are meek, particularly among ladies. By definition, being meek means to be quiet or gentle natured; synonymous with tame, humble, and submissive. They are not called to be boastful, arrogant, nor demanding of women. Along with humility and submissiveness, I am convinced that sacrifice and service would also follow as a response. These acts of service that I speak about, could be the typical chivalrous deeds of the twenty-first century that may easily come to mind: holding the door for a lady, providing for her, speaking kindly to her or any other similar deed. While these examples are indeed wonderful starts to chivalry, the overall concept of men intentionally placing women above themselves is the significant one that must be observed. Women are to be respected, honored, and loved through all of our actions. Recognizing and aiming for this helps direct one’s actions towards our goal of chivalry.

The difficult part about this in the modern world is the implication that intentional service to women, helping them with various things, by men could be characterized as sexist, which is indeed far from the truth.

connorquote Undoubtedly, acts of chivalry can be easily confused for sexism or paternalism, where, at times, similar actions to chivalry can be driven from the idea that men need to help women because of their superiority. It is quite obvious that there are a number of men who would agree with this false need. It is because of this that I will not discount misunderstandings. While one man may walk around the vehicle to open the door for a woman, thinking to himself, “I better help, or else I’m sure she’ll end up hurting my car…or herself,” another man may do the same action while thinking quite differently, “I want to serve this woman, whom deserves all that I can give.” The differences are, of course, the intentions of each man. Performing chivalrous deeds don’t make a man chivalrous; the heart must align with the action (similar to that of 1 Corinthians 13:1.) A chivalrous man would not believe that he is superior to a woman, as it would directly conflict with our starting point of meekness,which, again, is synonymous with humility. Over time, I believe that paternalistic men (like the man in the first example) will have their wrong intentions brought into the light, based off of their other surrounding actions. This is where we can find distinction.

You see, I think of chivalry as a privilege and opportunity for men to be servants to women. Not because women need men (at times, quite the opposite), but because it is an expression of love, real love. After all, are men not called to love their wives in Ephesians?

While this is an assertion to men, it is respectively a call for women to embrace it. Just as a man may show his love through chivalry, a woman may show hers back through accepting it as a gift. Every woman deserves to be treated with love and gentleness by men, without exception. I am confident that through striving for chivalry, this treatment can become a reality. Consider it an honor to be treated with such humility of service, and let the gentle and caring men be so to you, without settling for anything less.

I do not write this in response to any movement of feminism; I write this in the strong belief that there are a great many things that we can learn from our past traditions, even the oldest, most romanticized, and that when applied, gradually, our society can become a better place.

Connor is a senior business major with a minor in communication.

I am a proud feminist. Make no mistake, though; I am not a feminist with a chip on her shoulder. I am appreciative of everything that the feminist movement has done for me. I love that I can vote. I have great plans for my life that do not feature getting married and having children. I would not be opposed to marriage but I have not made it a priority because I do not have to marry to survive. I have nothing against women who want to get married and have children, though. I am simply thankful for options.

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Yet, we need feminism. Women still earn only 77 cents on the male dollar in the United States. The Steubenville rape case showed that victim-blaming rape culture is alive and well. Young girls all over Twitter jump to Chris Brown’s defense anytime someone mentions the fact that he hit Rihanna with enough force to cause major bruising and say heartbreaking things about how they would let Chris Brown beat them to a bloody pulp.

A few weeks ago, Hanna Rosin published a short article on Slate called “Marissa Meyer Thinks Feminists Are a Drag. Is She Right?”. Rosin’s main premise was drawn from an interview with PBS in which Marissa Meyer described feminists as women with a “chip on the shoulder”. Within the past year, Meyer was appointed the CEO of Yahoo. Feminists across the country celebrated the appointment of a woman to such a high profile position in a male dominated field. Much to the disappointment of these feminists, Meyer has said a few times that she is not a feminist and has worked to dissociate herself from the movement. I have been tracking Meyer’s comments and movements, along with other women in the spotlight who reject the term “feminist”, with much chagrin.

How can these women disregard the way that feminism has fought for their right to be in such positions of power? Do they realize the example they are setting for younger women?

We need to stop calling it feminism, according to Rosin. The word has too many negative connotations, which accumulated as misogynists fought against the rise of feminism and were further perpetuated by (as Meyer said in the same interview) “militant” feminists. Rosin fails to propose a new term, though. I suspect this is because there is no word that can capture the movement in the way that ‘feminism’ can. The term has over one hundred years of fighting power behind it.

Egalitarianism may come in a close second to the term of feminism but it lacks the punch that feminism has. The term definitely goes hand in hand with feminism but, to me, it is the end goal. Some people are already egalitarians, which is wonderful. I have multiple male friends who call themselves feminists and treat me with complete equality. However, we are not in a cultural place where egalitarianism can replace feminism. Too much animosity towards women still exists.

As a feminist, I think women in my age group need to own the term. Each wave of feminism has made it mean something to them and I refuse to give up because it has accumulated negative connotations. We can change those. However, we need to work together. I often hear “I’m not a feminist but…” on Houghton’s campus. I hear things such as: “I’m not a feminist but I would never, ever let him treat me that way.” Or, “I’m not a feminist but I will wear leggings as pants because they’re super comfortable and it’s not my job to keep men from looking at my butt!” Or, “I’m not a feminist but I would love to have a career outside of the home and a husband who helps me with domestic chores.” Congratulations to anyone who has ever said such things, you are actually a feminist.

I understand why many people do not want to associate themselves with feminism. There certainly are militant feminists who are angry at the patriarchy and want to incessantly discuss this fact. However, they are not the majority. They simply have the loudest voices. If women who strive for equality would join together, we could rise above the militant feminists and work toward a connotation of feminism that is positive. We could make it a movement that people want to be a part of.

Am I being a bit idealistic? Of course I am! However, if we are going to fight the awful aspects of our culture, like the rape culture that has been so prominent in the past few weeks, women need to band together and promote feminism. Even if you do not feel oppressed, even if you are happy with your life, other women in the world need you to be a voice of reason. Men, you can take part as well. Just treat women with equality. That is all we want, in the end.