Jo Borges Edwards '25
The concept of “Ring by Spring” is a cultural phenomenon prevalent in many small Christian colleges, where students feel pressured to get engaged before graduation. While marriage is a beautiful and meaningful commitment, the societal expectation that young adults should rush into lifelong partnerships by their early twenties is concerning. Although this tradition may work for some, delaying marriage could lead to healthier and more stable relationships for most.
Many students at Christian colleges experience an unspoken expectation to find a spouse before graduation, and Houghton is not the exception. This pressure often comes from religious and cultural beliefs that prioritize early marriage as a means of preserving purity and fostering family life. Students may feel that their time in college is their best or only opportunity to meet a compatible Christian partner. Additionally, being surrounded by peers who are getting engaged can create a sense of urgency that leads people to prioritize marriage over other essential aspects of personal development.
However, the pressure of getting engaged within a limited timeframe can lead people to make hasty decisions. Many “Ring by Spring” engagements happen after only a few months of dating, which may not provide enough time to truly understand a partner’s values, communication styles, and long-term goals. Rushing into marriage under these conditions can increase the likelihood of incompatibility and marital struggles down the road.
From a biological perspective, the human brain does not fully develop until around age 25. The prefrontal cortex, responsible for decision-making, impulse control, and emotional regulation, continues maturing well into a person’s mid-twenties. This means that many college students are still growing emotionally and psychologically, making it harder for them to make fully informed decisions about lifelong commitments. This biological fact affects both parties. Their partner’s brain is still developing; therefore, the person they are marrying now might be completely different in a few years.
Moreover, research in psychology suggests that young adults benefit from exploring their identities, career aspirations, and personal values before settling down. The early twenties are a critical period for self-discovery, and rushing into marriage can sometimes hinder that process. Without a solid sense of self, people may struggle to navigate relationship challenges and personal growth in a healthy way.
Sociological research has also shown that waiting until later in life to marry correlates with lower divorce rates and greater marital satisfaction. According to studies, people who marry after age 25 tend to have more stable relationships than those who marry in their early twenties. This is likely because they have had more time to establish their careers, develop emotional maturity, and understand what they want in a partner.
Additionally, couples who take more time to build their relationships before getting engaged tend to have stronger foundations. Studies suggest that knowing a partner for at least two years before marriage significantly reduces the risk of divorce. This period allows couples to experience different life situations together, resolve conflicts, and truly assess compatibility. Unfortunately, many “Ring by Spring” engagements happen after dating for less than a year, which can leave couples unprepared for the realities of marriage.
Another key factor in delaying marriage is financial stability. Many college students have not yet secured stable jobs or financial independence. Marrying young often means navigating significant financial stress, such as student loans, entry-level salaries, and the costs of setting up a household. These pressures can create tension in a marriage and make it harder for young couples to focus on building a healthy relationship.
Additionally, early marriage can sometimes limit career opportunities, particularly for those, typically women, who may feel pressured to prioritize family over professional aspirations. Establishing a career before marriage can give people greater financial independence and security, ultimately strengthening their future partnerships.
While “Ring by Spring” may work for some couples, it is important to recognize that healthy relationships take time to develop. Young adults should be encouraged to build relationships intentionally instead of rushing into engagement due to societal pressure. This means prioritizing communication, shared values, and long-term compatibility over meeting an arbitrary timeline.
Marriage is a significant commitment that should not be rushed by external pressures. While “Ring by Spring” may seem like a romantic tradition, it can lead to hasty decisions that might not be in the best interest of young couples. Instead of pressuring students to find a spouse before graduation, Christian communities should encourage intentional, thoughtful relationships that prioritize long-term compatibility and personal growth. ★