Tag: Houghton

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News

2023 Senior Class Gift

Envisioned Design for the Senior Class Gift -- Courtesy of Amy Teta
By Abigail Bates

During the One Day Giving Challenge on Friday, April 21, the senior class of 2023 will participate in multiple donor challenges to raise funds in support of the 2023 Senior Class Gift to Houghton University.

Since the Class of 1925, graduating classes at Houghton have upheld a tradition of producing a meaningful addition to the campus; a practice originating with President Dr. James S. Luckey. In the beginning students pledged sums to Houghton within ten years of graduating, which developed into annual physical additions to the campus through donations and student funding.

Some of these class gifts include the Christmas Tree outside of the Campus Center (Class of ‘15), the apple orchard by the tennis courts (Class of ‘16), the circle of bench swings near Gillette Hall (Class of ‘18), the mosaic sculpture in the shape of a strand of DNA (Class of ‘19), the KidsZone inclusive playground at the Kerr-Pegula Athletic Complex (Class of ‘21), and the recent portrait of President Wayne D. Lewis Jr. (Class of ‘22).

This year’s gift is a renewal of the path that goes from Centerville Road up to the Stevens Art Building. The additions include a repavement of the entire path, five new LED fixtures, a metal handrail running up the length of the path, and a class gift sign inscribed with Romans 15:13.

Senior Kathryn Evans, the Representative of the 2023 class, decided on the Senior Class Gift with two other members of the Senior Class Cabinet—Senior Emmanuella Osuzoka and Senior Mary Vandenbosch.

“We all sat down with Amy Tetta,” Evans explains, “to just discuss the three options and out of the three options we thought that the path was going to be the best addition, and impacted all of campus and not just one area. And it would impact community members as well.”

After the Senior Class Cabinet’s selection, others, mainly in administration, are directing the implementation of the project; a project of great benefit to the university, Evans emphasizes.

Senior Jax Johnson agrees with renewing the path due to the difficulty of spotting it in the winter, especially without a railing. They also describe how it is particularly difficult in the winter for their friends, who are all art majors and walk the path regularly.

“I think making it [the path] a safer, more accessible environment will be good for [seeing the path],” Johnson says, “and also [will] probably have greater use.”

With the 2023 Senior Class Gift already in construction, students can expect to see the finished product in time for this academic year’s commencement ceremony. ★

Categories
Opinions

Stepping Into the Unknown

By Victoria Hock

At this time next month, I will be done with my academic career. I will have walked the stage in my cap and gown, said goodbye to my friends, and be close to starting or have already started my first full-time job.It’s crazy to think that my time as a Houghton student is almost done. It may sound cheesy, but your four years here will really fly by.

Just two days into orientation week, I called my mom, upset and saying that I wanted to go home. I had never been away from home that long, and I was sure college was not for me. However, my mom convinced me to stay, and I’m so glad she did. College has given me so many things, and one of those things has been friends, some of which came into my life in unexpected ways. One technically entered my life helping my mom carry a box of supplies up the stairs in my dorm. I was eventually officially introduced to this person through a mutual friend who I had met through an amazing Houghton faculty member.

I would also be remiss not to mention the many friends I’ve made through working with the STAR. I came into college with no journalism experience. I decided to try out writing for the News section, and I am so glad I did. I was met with support and guidance from Editors who genuinely wanted to help me improve my writing. Eventually, I was offered the News Editor position, followed by the position I am in now—the Co-Editor-in-Chief. I am fortunate to work with a wonderful team of people. We all support each other as we work to create each issue of the STAR.That is not the only leadership position I am in. I am also the Vice President of the Salvation Army Student Fellowship (SASF), another campus organization that provides students with service and fellowship opportunities, and even a church to attend.If anyone would have told me in high school that I would end up holding two leadership positions in college, I would have laughed.

Now, this is not an ad for contributing to the Houghton STAR, nor joining the SASF (though both of these organizations are amazing). Rather, it is encouragement for you to step out of your comfort zone while you’re here. Stepping out of your comfort zone doesn’t have to look like taking on a leadership position. It could mean simply joining a club. It could mean getting a campus job. It could even mean taking a class outside of your major if you’re given the opportunity.

Regardless of what this might look like for you, stepping out of your comfort zone can positively affect your college experience in so many ways. You may learn new things, such as a new genre of writing, or gain leadership skills. You may even meet new people, some of whom may become good friends.For me, even just staying here was stepping outside of my comfort zone. Sure, I thought at the time that I would have probably been more comfortable at home, going to school locally or online.However, I chose to stay at Houghton. Had I not done that, I would not have the friendships I do today. I would not have the knowledge I do today. I have even decided on my future career—a journalist. Had I not taken the leap and written for the STAR, I don’t think this career idea would have crossed my mind.

It has been a privilege working for the STAR. While I am sad to leave what quickly became my favorite pastime, know that you will be in excellent hands next year and beyond. I can’t wait to see this publication grow and thrive for many years to come.

At this time next month, I will be done with my academic career. I will have walked the stage in my cap and gown, said goodbye to my friends, and be close to starting or have already started my first full-time job.It’s crazy to think that my time as a Houghton student is almost done. It may sound cheesy, but your four years here will really fly by.

Just two days into orientation week, I called my mom, upset and saying that I wanted to go home. I had never been away from home that long, and I was sure college was not for me. However, my mom convinced me to stay, and I’m so glad she did. College has given me so many things, and one of those things has been friends, some of which came into my life in unexpected ways. One technically entered my life helping my mom carry a box of supplies up the stairs in my dorm. I was eventually officially introduced to this person through a mutual friend who I had met through an amazing Houghton faculty member.

I would also be remiss not to mention the many friends I’ve made through working with the STAR. I came into college with no journalism experience. I decided to try out writing for the News section, and I am so glad I did. I was met with support and guidance from Editors who genuinely wanted to help me improve my writing. Eventually, I was offered the News Editor position, followed by the position I am in now—the Co-Editor-in-Chief. I am fortunate to work with a wonderful team of people. We all support each other as we work to create each issue of the STAR.That is not the only leadership position I am in. I am also the Vice President of the Salvation Army Student Fellowship (SASF), another campus organization that provides students with service and fellowship opportunities, and even a church to attend.If anyone would have told me in high school that I would end up holding two leadership positions in college, I would have laughed.

Now, this is not an ad for contributing to the Houghton STAR, nor joining the SASF (though both of these organizations are amazing). Rather, it is encouragement for you to step out of your comfort zone while you’re here. Stepping out of your comfort zone doesn’t have to look like taking on a leadership position. It could mean simply joining a club. It could mean getting a campus job. It could even mean taking a class outside of your major if you’re given the opportunity.

Regardless of what this might look like for you, stepping out of your comfort zone can positively affect your college experience in so many ways. You may learn new things, such as a new genre of writing, or gain leadership skills. You may even meet new people, some of whom may become good friends.For me, even just staying here was stepping outside of my comfort zone. Sure, I thought at the time that I would have probably been more comfortable at home, going to school locally or online.However, I chose to stay at Houghton. Had I not done that, I would not have the friendships I do today. I would not have the knowledge I do today. I have even decided on my future career—a journalist. Had I not taken the leap and written for the STAR, I don’t think this career idea would have crossed my mind.

It has been a privilege working for the STAR. While I am sad to leave what quickly became my favorite pastime, know that you will be in excellent hands next year and beyond. I can’t wait to see this publication grow and thrive for many years to come.

At this time next month, I will be done with my academic career. I will have walked the stage in my cap and gown, said goodbye to my friends, and be close to starting or have already started my first full-time job.It’s crazy to think that my time as a Houghton student is almost done. It may sound cheesy, but your four years here will really fly by.

Just two days into orientation week, I called my mom, upset and saying that I wanted to go home. I had never been away from home that long, and I was sure college was not for me. However, my mom convinced me to stay, and I’m so glad she did. College has given me so many things, and one of those things has been friends, some of which came into my life in unexpected ways. One technically entered my life helping my mom carry a box of supplies up the stairs in my dorm. I was eventually officially introduced to this person through a mutual friend who I had met through an amazing Houghton faculty member.

I would also be remiss not to mention the many friends I’ve made through working with the STAR. I came into college with no journalism experience. I decided to try out writing for the News section, and I am so glad I did. I was met with support and guidance from Editors who genuinely wanted to help me improve my writing. Eventually, I was offered the News Editor position, followed by the position I am in now—the Co-Editor-in-Chief. I am fortunate to work with a wonderful team of people. We all support each other as we work to create each issue of the STAR.That is not the only leadership position I am in. I am also the Vice President of the Salvation Army Student Fellowship (SASF), another campus organization that provides students with service and fellowship opportunities, and even a church to attend.If anyone would have told me in high school that I would end up holding two leadership positions in college, I would have laughed.

Now, this is not an ad for contributing to the Houghton STAR, nor joining the SASF (though both of these organizations are amazing). Rather, it is encouragement for you to step out of your comfort zone while you’re here. Stepping out of your comfort zone doesn’t have to look like taking on a leadership position. It could mean simply joining a club. It could mean getting a campus job. It could even mean taking a class outside of your major if you’re given the opportunity.

Regardless of what this might look like for you, stepping out of your comfort zone can positively affect your college experience in so many ways. You may learn new things, such as a new genre of writing, or gain leadership skills. You may even meet new people, some of whom may become good friends.For me, even just staying here was stepping outside of my comfort zone. Sure, I thought at the time that I would have probably been more comfortable at home, going to school locally or online.However, I chose to stay at Houghton. Had I not done that, I would not have the friendships I do today. I would not have the knowledge I do today. I have even decided on my future career—a journalist. Had I not taken the leap and written for the STAR, I don’t think this career idea would have crossed my mind.

It has been a privilege working for the STAR. While I am sad to leave what quickly became my favorite pastime, know that you will be in excellent hands next year and beyond. I can’t wait to see this publication grow and thrive for many years to come. ★

Categories
Stories In Focus

Feature: Amanda Cox

By Jax Johnson

The Director of Houghton’s Lyric Theatre, Professor Amanda Cox, who recently directed Houghton’s production of “Into the woods” has recently participated in numerous other projects. Some of these projects include working on a film called “Through the eyes of Grace”, and acting in a production of “The Last 5 Years”. Cox discusses her recent step into the acting world with the exciting, the anxiety inducing, and the everyday, all as a part of the experience. 

On entering the world of professional acting, Cox says, “It’s something I have always dreamed of doing. I thought I would love to do this. I think I’m gifted in this way but it just wasn’t what I did and I’ve had a beautiful, wonderful, fulfilling life…but then it was like God looked at me and said, ‘But what if you could?’”

In early 2022, Cox found a casting call and began auditioning for a film titled, “Through the Eyes of Grace”.

Cox describes the film as “a faith-based thriller about a mother who’s teenage daughter disappears and throughout the movie we’re just trying to get her back.” 

Cox notes other recent on-screen appearances through true crime productions acting in the recreation scenes as well as a short film called “Dear Hallmark”.

While she has begun acting on-screen, Cox still keeps her love for the stage. She has recently been in several shows including “Camelot” and “The Last 5 Years”, as well as an upcoming role as Marmee in “Little Women”.

Cox continues by describing the process of getting headshots, going for auditions, and getting her first manager. 

She says, “you’re basically signing up for a permanent temp job, because there is no permanent job…sometimes there will be months or years in between and that’s normal.” 

With auditions, she says, “You just have to release them out into the universe.” Throughout the whole process she notes that she is incredibly grateful for her family, including her husband who has been, “a great foundation to rely on.”

Moving forward, Cox says, “I just want to keep having projects in front of me.” ★

Categories
News

“Fellowship of the Bands” to bring rock ‘n roll to Houghton

The Fellowship of the Bands Poseter -- Credit Joey Schunemann
By Anna Catherman

This Friday night in the Chapel, rock bands from around campus will converge for the inaugural “Fellowship of the Bands”. 

Organized by CAB Coffeehouse Director and Junior Demetri Court, “Fellowship of the Bands” is a concert featuring alternating bands playing in an “informal atmosphere”. Many of them are groups that don’t get to play during Coffeehouse or other events on campus. 

According to Court, the event is “not a competition” – it’s about collaborating. “Good times, good atmosphere, good vibes all around,” he said.

“Fellowship of the Bands” will begin at 9 p.m. to allow students to take advantage of the other events on campus that night, including the choir concert, various athletic events,and the “One Day Giving Challenge”.
Junior David Olson is leading one of the groups set to perform, and playing in another. As a singer and guitarist, Olson is excited to play in a unique setting he hasn’t gotten much experience with at Houghton. 

“I’m psyched about the event because it is a unique chance to play a harder style of music that wouldn’t necessarily fit in your average open mike setting,” Olson wrote. “It also gives me an opportunity to play with a drummer and bassist in front of people which will be super fun for me.”Director of Student Engagement Jana Newberry has been involved in the planning of the event, whichis set for one of the busiest days of the semester. The “One Day Giving Challenge” is also taking place Friday, with the “Fellowship of the Bands” being the final activity of the day. Houghton’s largest fundraiser places a large amount of emphasis on student involvement, and the fun events that close the day serve as a reminder that all that’s going on is for the students. There will be a Nugget and Fry Bar in the Reinhold Campus Center beginning at 8:30 p.m., so friends can hang out and grab food before the concert.

Olson encouraged students to come out and support the musicians. 

“Everyone should come because it’s gonna be wicked fun,” Olson says.“The atmosphere is gonna be amazing and you’ll get to see your friends take this opportunity to go out on a limb and act really strange!”

Court did the same. 

“It’s going to be rock ‘n roll and a merry band of people …“[h]ow many times does the chapel play any sort of rock?”★

Categories
Columns

Into the Woods Review

by Kat Wojsiat

I had the pleasure of seeing Houghton University’s production of Stephen Sondheim’s Into the Woods twice! Director Amanda Cox did something a little different and split the cast so that many roles had two actors, and I wanted to see and compare both casts. 

Both did an amazing job, and it was fun to see each actor put their own spin on their character. For those of you who did not get to see it, Into the Woods follows a baker (Luc Peirera) and his wife (Rebekah Scharf) as they journey through the mysterious woods to find four objects demanded of them by their neighboring witch (Linnette Taylor). 

Along the way, they come across multiple fairytale characters who live in their world, including Jack (Thomas Auld & Ethan Carr), Little Red (Grace Vuolo & Josey Ikker), and Cinderella (Emily Quick & Rachel McVeigh). Together, they face giants, death, princes, and a race against time. 

All of the actors in the show clearly put a lot of work into learning their lines, choreography, and characters, and it is clear that there was so much fun and dedication put into these performances. The vocal performances put out by the leads were highly impressive. Most of the leads had at least one solo or duet where the audience got to see them shine. 

Surely word has spread, but this show was made even more eventful thanks to the campus-wide power outage that occurred on Saturday. Right toward the end of Auld’s solo during the matinee, the power went out, causing the stage and the mics to go dark. Auld continued without faltering, delivering an impressive and composed performance through the confusion. After his scene ended, the show took a brief intermission during which the tech team went to work finding solutions. They quickly found lights, and the rest of the performance was completed in darkness, as well as the Saturday night performance. The actors adapted very well and delivered a great performance. I got to go to three of the four performances (although I did not get to stay the whole time for each one) and each one was meaningful and fun. They did a great job, and I highly encourage students to go to future lyric theatre productions! ★

Categories
Opinions

More God, Less World

By Victoria Arndt

Here at Houghton University, students are required to attend a mandatory chapel service on Mondays and Fridays, with an Around the Table program on Wednesdays which allows students to hear about God’s work in the lives of others. 

Although these chapel times help students have a break between classes and let them give a moment of their time towards God, I’ve found that sometimes I head to chapel with a faint feeling of dread, not because there are many other things I could be doing with that time, but because of what the message will be that day.

Since my freshman year, I quickly came to realize that I wasn’t connecting to the messages I was hearing in chapel. It wasn’t that the messages were bad or held no relevance to us as students, but that they didn’t resonate with me in the way I thought they would. Some messages had little relation to the Bible verses read before it, instead mostly focusing on a current-day issue or concept rather than how the verses tied into the message, while others had good relation between message and verses but felt a little lackluster in terms of spiritual emphasis on God or what the Bible was trying to teach us through the verse. Some messages from guest speakers even felt more than a little preachy on their topics, speaking directly on the topic with no mention of God or the Bible. It was all well and good, but those messages left me feeling confused and most of all dissatisfied, with me questioning how I was to utilize what I’d heard when I felt no emotional connection or calling towards it, especially when it felt like I had just been listening to someone’s soapbox rant for half an hour and had gotten nothing substantial out of it.

More often than not, instead of the speakers’ messages actually affecting me and making me want to listen to what they had to say, their messages started to lose my interest as soon as I heard more about current-day issues rather than the goodness of God. At times it was even frustrating, and it made me start to wonder if the chapel message I was about to hear was going to be about the Bible and God in a way that resonated with my spirit, or if it would just be another sermon on more world issues.

Don’t get me wrong. I understand the importance of speaking on current-day issues and how we are supposed to approach them as believers in the Church. Christianity and worldliness go hand in hand, and it’s definitely important to hear about issues that affect us as individuals and as fellow Christians and what we can do to help change them. But when I attend chapel, I want to listen to a message that encourages me to continue my walk with God, not hear about another worldly issue that I personally am not called to change or can change from where I currently stand. I want to hear about how a particular verse can relate to me as a Christian and as a weary college student, not on topics I hear about nonstop on social media. Chapel is supposed to be a time when we can relax and spend a moment with God and hear a small message to encourage us throughout the rest of our day. When that time is filled with topics other than God and the Word, what once was a time of worship and reflection becomes a time of listening to what feels like activism from the pulpit, with messages that have nothing to spiritually or emotionally connect with.

My point here is not to slight any of the chapel speakers or their messages, but just to share the respectful musings of a college student looking for more God and less world in the messages she hears during chapel. My hope is that future chapel messages will have a more spiritually substantial and emotional impact on its listeners going forward, not through simply discussing modern issues and problems, but with an emphasis on the power and hope of God as something to look to even throughout troubling times, so that those who need to hear a certain message on those days can hear a message that encourages their souls. ★

Categories
Stories In Focus

Inside the STAR

STAR Articles study this week's edition of the paper -- Courtesy of Nathan Versari
By the STAR Editors

Have you ever wondered what goes into publishing each issue of the Houghton STAR?

As you may know, each issue is a team effort, with two Editors-in-Chief at the helm. Junior Christian Welker is one of them. He explained that the Editors-in-Chief “work with the editors to edit articles, lay out the issue, and deal with any problems that may arise in the process.” He also added that the Editors-in-Chief meet biweekly with the STAR’s Faculty Advisor. In addition, the Editors-in-Chief “speak with members of the administration, staff, and faculty teams on behalf of the STAR”. They also complete various website and paper-related projects, as well as odd jobs in the office.

Senior Victoria Hock, another Editor-in-Chief, further added that the Editors-in-Chief “Collaborate with each other and the other Editors to come up with story and writer ideas for the STAR.”

Additionally, Welker and Hock stated that, despite some rumors, the Faculty Advisor has little oversight over the article editing process. They are only given access to articles pre-publication if the Editors-in-Chief see a potential issue they want feedback on. Most of the time, the STAR’s Faculty Advisor only sees articles after publication, at the same time as the rest of Houghton’s Campus.

In addition to the Editors-in-Chief, there are Four Section Editors, News, Opinions, Columns, and Photo and Media.

Junior Joshua Carpenter is responsible for overseeing our News section. He said that he is “responsible for finding three writers to cover either a news or feature story. Once I receive their articles, I edit them and lay them out in Affinity Publisher (the software we use to create the print form of the newspaper).”

Overseeing our Opinions section is Sophomore Victoria Arndt. Discussing her responsibilities, she stated, “As the Opinions editor, I collect writers for opinion pieces and then work with the writer to edit them, as well as format the piece within its section of the newspaper.”

           Sophomore Caleb Tiedemann oversees our Columns section, which is found at the back of each issue and contains anything from reviews to artwork. He explained that he is “responsible for finding someone to write an article and someone for Artist of the Week. I edit the submitted article and then format it, as well as the Artist of the Week submissions, onto the back page of the STAR.”

           Junior Savannah Stitt is our Photo and Media Editor. Each week, she will “photograph or source the photos of people and events the STAR features in each issue.” Stitt also runs our Instagram account.

           Layout occurs each Wednesday in the Houghton STAR office, which is located in the Campus Center basement. Each editor is responsible for inserting and formatting their content in their respective sections. After the Editors lay out their articles, the Co-Editors-in-Chief go through the entire issue again, checking for mistakes and filling any leftover space with puzzles, advertisements, and more. Then it is shipped to the printing press, where it is printed and prepared for handout after Friday Chapel. 

After the physical issue is sent to the printing press, each article is formatted into an online version for publication on the STARs Website. The online articles are scheduled to be posted at the same time as the physical copies are distributed so that interested parties both on and off campus can get the issue at the same time.

The Editors may be responsible for putting each issue together, but this would not be possible without contributors, which we are always looking for more of.

            If you are interested in contributing to any section of the Houghton STAR, please email the Editor of the section you’re interested in. We would also welcome Letters to the Editor in response to our previous pieces, which can be sent to star@houghton.edu. Letters to the Editor can range from a few short sentences to a maximum of 600 words.

If you are interested in becoming an editor, feel free to fill out the application below to become our new News Editor as Carpenter is joining Welker in the Editor-in-Chief position after Hock graduates at the end of this semester.

            If you want to contribute, but are not sure if or where your idea would fit, feel free to email one of our Co-Editors-in-Chief. ★

Categories
News

Mosaic Center Closing

Photo Wall in the Mosaic Center -- Courtesy of Christian Welker
By Abigail Bates

On Friday Mar. 10, President Wayne D. Lewis, Jr. announced the closing of the Mosaic Multicultural Center.

“Many individuals,” President Lewis wrote, “view the space as exclusive and unwelcoming, leading to the effect of few students engaging in the learning experiences the space was intended to foster.”

In the Fall 2023 semester, the space will become a Campus Ministry area led by Dean Michael Jordan for Emmanuel Scholars, Life Together Groups, and a new campus-wide discipleship program. The ambassador program from the Mosaic Center will continue as the Intercultural Ambassadors, and will work on promoting intercultural connections and events.

For various reasons, the Mosaic Center began to increasingly fall short of its intended goals leading to the decision to close the center.

“Houghton,” President Lewis wrote, “will be able to more effectively accomplish the institution’s goals in this area if our goals are separated from the Mosaic Center and the physical space it now occupies.”

While many students recognize the problems of the Mosaic Center, some are dissatisfied with the administrative response.

“I do agree that the Mosaic Center often felt like an unapproachable place,” Senior Benjamin Dostie (‘23) writes. “There used to be more events there in my freshman year that allowed majority population students like me to interact in constructive ways . . . Even if President Lewis was right that it wasn’t meeting expectations, it would have been nice to see some corrective action or collaborative effort to align it with stated values before such a drastic action.”

Senior Isabelle Murch (‘23) feels that the Mosaic Center went from one extreme to the other without being given the tools to thrive. She wishes time was taken to listen to the entire student body, and rather than closing it, restructure the center to become proactive in celebrating diversity.

Some students are also concerned with removing a safe space for people of differing racial and ethnic backgrounds. Sophomore Kimberly Borges Edwards (‘25) and Junior Caroline Zimmerman (‘24) wrote about the negative impact closing the center will have on diversity at Houghton, and the lack of care and support marginalized students feel from administration as a result of this decision.

Women’s Area Coordinator Raegan Zelaya remarks that while she understands the reasoning behind closing the Mosaic Center, Houghton–as an institution–can’t claim to value diversity if we aren’t doing everything we can to safeguard and develop it.

“If anything,” Zelaya writes, “it feels like it just further demonstrates that the university is only interested in the kinds of diversity that are convenient for marketing purposes. It is outrageous to have diversity as a pillar in our strategic plan when we are actively cutting the programs and spaces that help empower diverse students to succeed.”

The Intercultural Ambassadors, renamed from the current ambassador program, will provide intentional and impactful programming on campus to foster intercultural connections and learning through student leadership. President Lewis writes that these student leaders will help plan events for heritage months, assist the MLK Day Committee, and organize campus conversations. It is simply the space being closed, he comments.

“Houghton remains committed to intercultural education and engagement,” President Lewis explains, “which is why the ambassadors [program] is remaining, with an explicit focus on facilitating and supporting Christ-centered intercultural education and engagement.”

Contact Vice President Marc Smithers for more information on the Intercultural Ambassadors. ★

Categories
News

We Asked, You Responded!

Thank you to everyone who filled out our Mosaic Center Survey.
Here are some of the responses you had

Forms response chart. Question title: Do you believe the Mosaic Center was fulfilling its stated purpose "to be a dynamic space that hosted conversations, programming, and educational activities that promote issues of cultural diversity"?. Number of responses: 44 responses.

Forms response chart. Question title: What was your initial response to President Lewis' email?. Number of responses: 44 responses.

Forms response chart. Question title: Do you believe that the decision was the best path forward?. Number of responses: 44 responses.

Forms response chart. Question title: Would you be interested in participating in Dean Jordan's new "Campus Ministry Space" or the new Campus-Wide Discipleship Program?. Number of responses: 44 responses.

Categories
Columns

Houghton STAR Review (STAR April Fools 2023)

By [REDACTED]

WARNING: This is not satire!

This is a cry for help coming from an unspecified STAR official. If you are thinking about joining the STAR team: DO NOT! It is a place of pure terror. Everyone who joins is treated as less than human. Near the end of this upcoming year, the evil and terrifyingly tall Christian Welker intends to overthrow Victoria Hock in a bid to become the leader. Victoria is in her senior year and has been fighting for far too long; I fear she will go down in flames. But once Christian establishes his reign as an eye of Sauron-type figure, the rest of us will be forced to follow his lead. 

Joining his conquest is Joshua Carpenter, a real-life juggernaut. He will probably serve as second-in-command, servicing every one of Christian’s evil desires. Day in and day out they lounge around under the belief of assured destruction come the end of the year. Once they achieve their goals, I fear we may be unable to stop them from corrupting the rest of the campus. One of the biggest tells thus far is how they seem to know everything that’s going on. They have the stories and news before the rest of the campus. I suspect dirty dealings with faculty. Both have admitted close “friendships” with certain professors. But what do they and professors have in common? Wanting to see fellow students suffer under harsh leadership and work hours!

The biggest problem comes with the newer recruits such as Victoria Arndt and Caleb Tiedemann. Both are confined to horrendous work hours, constantly having to find people to write articles and edit the STAR to perfection, under a penetrating gaze. When it does not come out perfect, threats fly and punishments are dealt. These punishments include eating Metz food, being confined in a Big Al’s booth, and worse! Arndt and Tiedemann are given the quotes and works of other students to be edited and made their own. 

Another STAR staff member, Savannah Stitt, is constantly forced to run around and take pictures of various students and events for Christian’s big brother takeover. He MUST know everything that is happening. She acts as a scout, lurking in the shadows, neither seen nor heard to get the best pictures possible, spying on certain clubs and article writers that could very possibly help Christian in his quest for power. 

I urge everyone reading this to look out for the STAR- it is not what it claims to be, it is an institution of black site operations. I request that the college stops looking over the cries of anguish of all the STAR staff members and calls to arms for the necessary reinforcements against Christian and Joshua, for they are indeed an unstoppable duo capable of only the most heinous of crimes. My name is [REDACTED] and as a writer, I stand to be the voice of the people and will not let [REDACTED]★

Message from the Co-Editor-in-Chief:

We apologize for the confusion and fear. This writer has clearly lost their mind and is no longer fit to work within our wonderfully non-evil club. The perpetrator has been sufficiently dealt with and will not taint our wonderful news pages any longer. 

On a completely unrelated and equally non-evil note, we are looking for a new News Editor to replace my minion the current News Editor Josh Carpenter as he steps into the Co-Editor-in-Chief position, replacing Victoria, who will be sorely missed.

Thank you for your consideration, we apologize again for the startling and completely false review.

Long live the Editor-in-Chief

Thank you and have a good day,

Christian D. Welker