Independence is a value we need to revive in our society. Individuals are primarily valued in the context of others, not as those who stand alone. Rather, society values the team, a conglomerate of individuals working together to embody the values of unity, cooperation, and interdependence. I’m not bashing these values or downplaying their worth, but I am arguing that our society, in venerating these so dearly, have neglected (almost entirely) the virtues of independence.
There is a disproportional amount of emphasis placed on teamwork and being able to lead a group, especially in the professional world, where common interview questions and required skills reflect these values. Participation in sports, student/other organizations, clubs, churches, etc. is essential for college applications, including those for graduate school. Although features such as GPA and various standardized tests speak to the success of the individual, they are quite often not enough for students who hope to attend Ivy League schools, receive scholarships, or participate in competitive academic programs.
Looking more generally outside the realms of education and profession, communities (perhaps even Houghton) intrinsically approve of those dubbed “social butterflies” and are prone to look down on the loner. Those who choose not to date, avoid parties and dances, and enjoy spending more time in solitude are no stranger to oddly judgmental looks and the label of “introvert,” which in and of itself bears the prejudice of an unfavorable connotation.
In a world that thrives on connection, interdependence has become our comfort zone; others provide us the parameters to define ourselves, and their understanding of us frequently becomes our own. Ralph Waldo Emerson reflects, “it is easy in the world to live after the world’s opinion,” and I’d argue that this is why it’s comfortable for us to live in a world where we’re reliant on others who provide praise, encouragement, and assurance. If the qualities of independence and separation are not those we actively practice or seek out, it’s easy to remain in the mentality set forth and lauded by the majority. It gets us into the best schools, graduate programs, jobs, the best social circles, and the list could go on.
Independence thrives in separation, and I’m inclined to go as far as to argue that truly understanding yourself apart from others is invaluable, perhaps even “very healthy” in the words of Oscar Wilde. After all, we may tirelessly pour ourselves into other people and thrive on these social interactions and relationships, all in an attempt to find our place in the world amongst the masses. Yet when it comes down to it, as Flannery O’Connor candidly puts it, “in yourself right now is all the place you’ve got.” In other words, “[we] need to know how to be alone and not defined by another person,” as Wilde puts it. For if we neglect to start at square one and work at defining ourselves and then grow from there, how can we even begin to fit ourselves into the puzzle of society? Without form, without a solid definition of self, we’re doomed to slip like water through cracks in relationships, with our concept of self pooling according into the bounds of what others dictate.
In separation and solitude we’re forced to be alone with ourselves. Without the distraction of anyone else, we have the luxury to examine our character, our desires, our hopes, and then devise the means to act on them, whether we choose to devote ourselves to reading great literature, writing poetry, creating art, going to the gym, or simply thinking. Independence signals a loyalty that is first to ourselves, and this fidelity grounds us not only in our self but also our principles, and that, at least, society agrees is desirable. I think we are perhaps prone to underestimating the depth of our potential in and of ourselves, and because we’re not really encouraged to pursue unearthing it, we miss out on what we have to offer. Society seems to value the trademarks of strong individuals, yet it forgets or perhaps even ignores what it takes to arrive there.
That being said, I’ll admit that relationships are important. Emerson goes on to add that while “it is easy in solitude to live after our own [opinion],” it is the “great man who in the midst of the crowd keeps with perfect sweetness the independence of solitude.” It is not enough to merely recognize and then embrace the values of independence as an individual separated from society; rather, after we’ve grasped hold of them, we must continue to embody them as we re-enter our world interdependence and relationships. In his work, Walden, Thoreau explored the values of solitude and separating oneself from society, and while I’m not recommending everybody mimic his extensive solitary stint in the woods to develop an appreciation of the individual and independence, I do think we can (and should) mimic it to some degree. Solitude does not need to be constant; in fact if it is, it can have pretty negative consequences (think effects of solitary confinement), but I would argue that it is essential in any daily routine, not just those of introverts.
Nevertheless, it is imperative we see that although Thoreau clearly appreciated the values of independence and solitude, he also did not disdain human camaraderie; in fact he valued it quite highly. This “solitude” that Thoreau praises, and what I am recommending we rediscover, is not loneliness or extreme isolation, but rather introspection and an understanding of self, and an ability to maintain these boundaries of self that define us in the midst of the real world, where relationships and interactions with others dominate our lives. In the words of Thoreau, “Individuals, like nations, must have suitable broad and natural boundaries, even a considerable neutral ground, between them.”
As individuals it’s vital we recognize the importance of independence and separation, and our intrinsic value outside the bounds of our relationships. Furthermore, it’s perhaps more essential, even crucial, that society not only acknowledges these values, but considers them to be worthwhile. Whether or not this will eventually be reflected on the institutional level has yet to be seen, but perhaps our starting point must be a change in our definition of what constitutes a valuable member of society.